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Thursday, March 14, 2013

Anne O'Leary Welcomes Pope Francis I

The white plumes of smoke blossomed from the chimney's of the Sistine Chapel announcing the selection of a new Pope.


"Habemus papam" the crowed roared. Pope Francis I, the first Irishman to ever hold the Papal Seat is expected to bring long needed reform to the Church.

Anne O'Leary, CEO of O'Leary Air and longtime friend of His Holiness, called a Press Conference to welcome the new Pontiff and to answer questions about the type of reform we can expect.


"Now we all know Francis here" she yelled into the microphone. "And there's two things His Holiness likes and that's women and shagging. So I think we can expect some change that will have a positive impact in our lives."


"First off, he's hired new guards to protect his person."


 "He also got rid of that ridiculous looking Pope Mobile and replaced it with a more modern style."


"Changes are already taking place at St. Peter's in anticipation of the Easter Mass."


"And because His Holiness believes that what's good for the Pope is good for the people, he's lifted the ban on contraception."


"They'll be shagging in the streets of Dublin by dawn!" Ms. O'Leary screamed right before she passed out.

Now Francis doesn't know I've done this, but as the big fella isn't at work today, I just might get away with it. Shhhh, don't anyone tell him..

92 comments:

  1. Finally! A church I can get into!!! And my lips are sealed!!!

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    1. Now's the time to come back into the Church. It's a whole new era for us and really as God's chosen people, it's time the Irish lead the way. I hear he's planning a whole new Communion service for us. I'm not sure what he's going to put on our tongues, but I'm betting it will be salty!

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    2. But just the ladies right? Oh wow. I have been laughing for a good five minutes about that one!!!

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    3. And I gave special thanks to our new Pope in my post tonight!

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    4. Definitely just the ladies. He's going to require that men remain in a separate chamber during his services. It's to make up for all the inequality we've suffered for millenia.

      Oh goody! He should be so happy that we adore him enough to do this! Maybe he'll even smile!

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    5. Wow...a smile from The Man... wouldn't that be something!?!?

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  2. Now that would really shake up the Catholic church :)

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  3. Replies
    1. I find that hard to believe!!

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    2. We're all so excited here. I can't begin to tell you. Jaysus, I was up all night drinking and sinning. It's a grand life for us all now!

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  4. Fran old boy, never knew you had it in you!

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  5. You tempt fate dear women! "Francis the Fecker" perhaps.

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  6. I think other than his tendencies to say "feck" and "arse" a lot he'd make a good Pope and bring some much needed change. Although I am a little surprised there hasn't been an Irish pope.

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  7. Brilliant work Anne! Really enjoyed reading this.

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  8. Great work Anne on this very funny post! Realy nice...
    Phil.

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  9. Now that's a pope we can all get behind, or some in front of. Oh and that cat got you good!

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    1. I just went over there. That fecking Cat is going to swing!

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  10. Fantastic post Anne. I second (or third, or whatever), Fran for Pope...

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  11. they are not just for protestants....hahha...dang those guards look fierce....all hail the pope....smiles.

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  12. That's hilarious Anne - full body condoms too - Pope Fran's most ambitious reform to date!

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  13. Holy smoke! Pope Francis 1 redux? As Father Jack would say "that would be an ecumenical matter."

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  14. We be blessed! ... me thinks...

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  15. LOL.... how funny. I am not catholic, but I did watch yesterday for a couple of minutes.

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  16. LOL now that is a pope that even my little rhyming ass could agree with. And those guards, the viking woman would love being in charge of them. I could send her along and see O'leary Air can do no wrong, meaning you lied once more, saying only miniatures would show at your shore. But then i suppose the little two inch tank he rides around in is kinda miniature hahaha wait you created all of this on your table didn't you? In between toothless dating sessions.

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    1. This post is gaming related as our Pontiff is a gamer. On Sunday I'm doing a St. Patricks Day post-not a rant though. Something short and simple.

      You sure got your fivers worth out of that video Cat and I hope I've repaid you for all those horrible images I've had to live with of you and your filthy Viking woman.

      Now I'm off to sleep.

      Nitey Nite Cat.

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    2. LOL yep got my 5 bucks worth that time, those images were so unkind, Pat had to wash his brain after that, but not the cat, he doesn't care, just more firepower at his lair

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    3. Geez and I'm sending new people here too, what a freaky guy can do, I'm sure they pity you hahahaha

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    4. They probably do after what you did to me you aresemonkey! It was brilliant though. You have to get Elsie too.

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    5. haha old one eye you say? I'll be sure and let her know who told me to do it too.

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    6. She would love it and you know it. It's more of a compliment to be picked on by you than an insult.

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  17. "what's good for the Pope is good for the people, he's lifted the ban on contraception" That line had me rolling. I LOVE me some O'Leary Air. Good every time.

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    1. I thought of you while I did this. I could have done it without the press conference, but I knew this would please you. Glad you liked it Pickle!

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  18. Heh.. nice little poke at the irish bear.. be careful though.. you know he will bite back ;)

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  19. I saw the Pope Francis picture on Facebook, but the full post is just too much. I never thought I'd see the day I could actually say, "Let's go grab a pint with the Pope."

    Also, I'm glad to see O'Leary Air back doing press conferences. Passed out Anne is my favorite.

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  20. Hilarious! Oh, if only it were true . . . .

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  21. Do you think Ray will keep his gob shut? I bet he has already spilt his belly



    LOL
    Ian

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    1. I'm wondering if Ray has had to kiss the ring yet :)

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  22. This is over the top hilarious! Great one, Anne!

    And check out Ray's thread on The Prize. Your plan is on.

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  23. I must resist the urge to take his avatar and photoshop a mitre on him.

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    1. I just came from your place. The urge was too strong to resist. If he's angry at least I won't die alone now!

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  24. oh, sweet is the day when they declare our lord Francis as Pope! We might now even smuggle into the Vatican, Annzie, and get us chancellor jobs there :)

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    1. Oh yes, he's promised us permanent apartments there. And we've been appointed to manage the art collection. Finally, we'll get to see all that porn we've been dreaming of :)

      I'm glad to see you out and about. You will tell me how you are later, yes.

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    2. oooh, yes, yes, I always fancied an internal investigation of Vatican chambers!

      Could be better, but I will survive, dahlink. It was five hours again.

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    3. We will be crawling all through that place by the weeks end. Imagine the parties we can throw. Actually, our would probably be tamer than what went on with the Prada wearing Pope Bennie.

      That was a long time. I hope you were not awake for it this time around. Hugs xoxoxo

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  25. ahahaha my favourite is O'Leary air with Michael O'Leary in the background!

    Imagine an Irish pope with a big knacker accent...

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    1. Somebody finally noticed that picture of Mick!

      Actually Fran's accent is quite posh, but they have had to hire a translator.

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  26. Well the fancy Pope hat would be able to cover his bald head. I'm pretty sure he'd appreciate that. :P

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  27. those are the cutest condoms I've ever seen

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  28. I think they flag this stuff like the FBI does with words like bomb.

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    1. Now I've just been double flagged. Thank you Andrew!!

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  29. So, I guess this means Generalissimo has merged his kingdom with another.

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    1. Oh yes, he's now mightier than ever. It's too bad they don't make Pope miniatures or I'd do one up :)

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  30. L.M.F.A.O I can actually picture this, great post Anne

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  31. Pretty good, Anne. You're just missing the pope hat, on Lurker's head.

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    1. I thought about it and then I got afraid. How far is too far? If only the man would communicate....

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    2. You guys just cracked me up. And that other blogger with the hat. Good stuff. And thanks for the nice words on my blog today.

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    3. I know it's hard to experience. My favorite story you wrote was whenyo your friend sent you the 100 yo-yo's. You gave him a good send off Whisk.

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  32. An Irsih pope? Well why not but don't replace the wine with the thing you call Guiness. Pleeeeeeeaaaaaaasssssssseeeee.

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  33. Priceless! If it were true I might even give up be athiest! ;-)

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  34. LOL!!! I'd switch to Catholic if it was for Fran!

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    1. I know, so many people would switch and all the lapsed Catholics would return. If only those silly Cardinals would listen to me....

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  35. Funniest thing I've read all day, but I fear excommunication might be on the cards when the big fella gets back to work!

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    1. Surely he won't be mad at me. I've put all his favorite things on this post and it's meant to be complimentary.

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  36. Post really made me laugh Anne, I'd be a Catholic supporter if the religion was more like this haha!

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    1. It needs reform and I don't mind saying it. Really they've lost most of Europe now and much of the doctrine is just wrong.

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  37. You know you're insane, right? LOL. Thanks for that. :))

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  38. haha. great one Anne, who elected him? Cardinal Jack Hacket, Cardinal Ted and Dougal ah I love that show. hope that Francis does not curse you for this but he should not, because I think you may have converted some people with this post.

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  39. I accept the nomination and my first decree is that the clergy can have sex with each other!

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  40. So wonderful to see Anne O'Leary, CEO of O'Leary Air! What a fun post, Anne! I think Fran would make a great pope. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a Migraine to get rid of. Have a great weekend, Anne. =)

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  41. dropping in not to wish a happy st patty's....smiles
    (runs back out the door before something is thrown at him)

    hey i am wearing green
    (probably does not help)

    smiles.

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  42. This was pretty funny, but damn! I took 3 days to read this, and there's not a single comment by Fran! Where was that roaring burst of laughter inducing comment?

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  43. I have missed O'Leary Air and her press conferences!

    Congrats to the newest pope!

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  44. Genius! Absolutely brilliant!

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