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Wednesday, May 30, 2012

The Betrayal Of The Lurker: Finale

In the last episode of The Alliance vs The Arse Licking Cat aka Pat Hatt it appeared as if The Angry Lurker had betrayed Anne O'Leary, CEO of O'Leary Air.  Or had he.....


On a deserted airfield a plane lands and a large man disembarks. Could it be?


Why yes, it appears as if the Dictator of Franonia has flown into Serbia for a secret meeting with The Alliance.


Anne O'Leary, CEO of O'Leary Air  escorted the Dictator to Shenanigans Pub for his covert meeting with Dez, the co-founder of The Alliance.


Under deep cover (of a straw cowboy hat) the Lurker turned over the intelligence he gathered while  doing recon on the domicile of the Arse Licking Cat.


What follows may be to horrible for those of gentle spirit.


The feline offender was caught red-pawed looking at "kitty porn"


Despite the Cat's friend Emilio's effort at clawing the cameraman this video was filmed during broad daylight.


Rumors that the Cat's long time paramour, the Viking Lady, had given birth to their spawn were confirmed.


The child, who has feet like a chimpanzee was seen feeding himself beer.


And an act so heinous even the Pope cried was filmed later that day.


In a subterranean level of his domicile, the Cat shoots human children out of the arse end of an elephant.

Now I ask you people of the world "Should this feline offender not be wiped from the face of the earth?"

And the last remaining question to be answered. "Has Anne O'Leary defected to Rayonia"

Not bloody likely. I did manage to gather some intel while on my "visit" to Rayonia and I smuggled it across the border in the one place neither Ray nor any of his men would dare to look.


In me knickers.

I've got a little time to play with you Hooligans today and I'd like to have some fun. Later this evening I'm off to hospital to be with the love of my life who is now awake.

137 comments:

  1. I'm glad he's awake now. This was a rather fun post, so it's also good you did have a kick back, and have some fun. Don't allow yourself to stay depressed. I got a laugh out of it at least. I knew you wouldn't betray Lurker like that. That cat is seriously evil though. I'm not one for animal cruelty but I'm behind you in this instance.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I haven't done a fun post for a while and thought it was high time I've been struggling a bit with depression these past few days, very up and down.

      That cat is depraved and this is just the tip of a very disgusting ice berg!

      Delete
  2. I finally can come out of the cold, that Lurker fella is a handsome git though, nice one Anne and I'm glad the hubby is awake!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I did my best to portray you as honestly as possible your Dictatorship. The Alliance is in your debt for helping us expose this disgusting feline offender.

      The Hubby can't quite talk yet, but he's doing better and I'm glad for it.

      Delete
    2. Will all the goodwill, how could it be otherwise my cailin!

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    3. If there's a God in Heaven he will be. Thank you Angry.

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  3. Wow.. quite the story ( and photos ) there.. but glad that the hubby is awake..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Mr. Lee. We try to have a good time around here!

      Delete
  4. Ahahah this is a really funny post!
    thanks for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sharing and caring. What a wonderful world is it not?

      Delete
  5. Anne - I just knew it had to be a set-up to gain intel! Great pics!

    Glad to hear your husband is awake :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now the question is "Will Fran reveal the dirt I dug up on Ray?" I'll only say this, it involves custard.

      Delete
  6. So glad to hear that your husband is awake! I was thinking about you, but couldn't find your e-mail :) Hope things are going well!

    You are too funny!!! That cat was definitely looking at kitty porn. He's guilty from his face!!!! What's your plan of attack???? There viking cat baby is surprisingly cute...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She gave birth to a whole litter and not all of them are human. There are a couple of hybrids that couldn't be posted because it would violate the laws of space and time. The fabric of the world would tear and so would your retinas.

      The Alliance is far from done with this foul demon cat. This is just the first salvo in a long and disgusting campaign.

      Delete
    2. Pffft bring it on, the cat loves all the attention you give.

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    3. I bet he does ;) LOL Your spawn is adorable, although word is the rest of the litter wasn't as cute. I would love to see a family photo!!!

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    4. I've got one and they're all suckling on his Viking woman. Not so cute when all ten of them are fighting over her teats.

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    5. Awww but it is so great I hear it might make the cover of Time Magazine, they just have better taste than your blog.

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    6. Time Magazine would never publish such filth!! Looking at all that kitty porn and staring at that elephant's arse has driven you mad!

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    7. Pffft you would be surprised what they would do for a little taste of the viking woman.

      Delete
  7. Hahaha!!!
    Give my regards to your husband! Even though I don't know him, I think of only the best.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Welcome to the crazier side of my blog Thanos!! And thank you for the best wishes.

      Delete
  8. oh lord, what is this world coming to? kitty porn and children out the ass of elephants...surely this is signs of the apocalypse...the cat is dead you know, i dont know how he can come back from this...

    great news on hubby being awake and wish you both the best on continued recovery...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That feckin feline has nine lives and he'll be back. He should be arriving in about an hour I'd say and he'll be bragging about his disgusting exploits. He has no shame really.

      Delete
  9. Great post Anne. Having a laugh is good med's. Glad to hear that things are progressing with your man. Keep smiling.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'd almost forgotten what it sounded like to hear the sound of my own laughter. It feels pretty good to share a joke with the blogoshpere again.

      Delete
  10. Yayyyy! The return of the CEO of O'Leary air! As terrifyingly hilarious as always. So many WTF moments in this post. The elephant crapping slide, the kid chimp-drinking the beer, kitty porn (which, how many super-perverts will you get coming to this page after searching for that). Good stuff.
    Also, I echo everyone else's sentiment regarding the progress of your husband. Him being awake is a good thing. Sure there's a long road to go, but that's a good start.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm going to have to keep track of the search terms that lead people to my blog after this post. They should be interesting. I bet I get more people looking for elephant arses than anything else. Now those are the real perverts!

      Delete
  11. That was like a frickin' whirlwind!
    And did you use the what's-its-name game's body for Dez?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's the avi that Dez always uses. Did you change your avi recently?

      Delete
  12. LOL wow this is funny as hell. Poor Pat Hatt and his cat, love the drawings. Really glad to hear your husband is awake, I hope hes doing well!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poor Pat pffft. He can take it as well as he dishes it out. He'll be along to insult me anytime now.

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    2. LOL see I get sympathy even with kitty porn, the cat cannot be defeated.

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    3. It's amazing how easily people are turned into lemmings.

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    4. yeah and they follow me, then when they go off the cliff I just watch and trot off, no loyality what so ever.

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    5. So typical of a cat - self absorbed!!

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    6. All I want to know is, what's lemming. I'm off to google right now!! Anne expands my vocabulary ;)

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    7. You don't know what a lemming is? Damn Blabber you are really sheltered there in NY hahahaha you would surely go off the cliff.

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    8. They have pigeons in NY, but I don't think they have lemmings. I feel sorry for people who live in cities and don't get to see animals every day when they go outside. I lived like that once for six years and I'll never, ever do it again.

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    9. Nope, no lemmings in NY. Unless they have them waaay upstate, but I doubt it. Although where I lived I didn't have to drive to far to see farms.

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    10. Thats me, Matt the lemming.

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    11. Yeah cities are fun to visit and such, but I don't think I would ever want to live in one forever, even though I'm stuck in one now..pfft.

      Delete
    12. @Matt - hahaha that's real funny.... Matt the lemming, looking like a bunny. ;)

      Delete
  13. Oh my goodness, best get off and search out the earlier episodes of this little saga! Great fun though Anne and fabulous news about your man! My best to you both.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This story came from a blog within a blog that a couple of us have been writing in our comment sections for months now. It eventually has made it's way onto posts. God help us all!

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    2. Pffft God can't help you! The cat will give plenty more kitty porn if you wish for all your readers to view too!

      Delete
    3. No put the Prada wearing Pope will.

      Delete
  14. Great illustrations and story Anne, I honestly love this stuff even though I think I have to be firmly behind team Pat and Cat haha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Cat needs minions like you to cover his back. Where's your Pringles can?

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    2. See the cat doesn't even need to enlist they just follow because they know I will win!

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    3. They follow because they are weak!!

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    4. Anne, what in the world is going on?? What evil spell has the cat cast upon these people??? LOL

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    5. Maybe the cat just has to break wind and they all are too clouded to no any better? You think?

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    6. So, that is your secret weapon - ass gas!

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    7. And it is quite easy to pass as well.

      Delete
  15. This post was fun indeed! The cat caught red pawed looking at kitty porn was hilarious!

    I'm glad to see you still have it in you to put together such a funny post! It's a good sign! And the hubby is awake now...more good news! Thoughts and prayers shall continue to go out to you and yours!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've only time for one post a week these days and I wanted to do something that would make me and others laugh. I'd put this one on the back burner a few times, so today was the day.

      Delete
  16. Great post, Anne. I don't where you get your pics, but they are hilarious. I'm glad to hear your us awake. I'm continuing in prayer for you and him.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't even want to tell you the search terms I had to use to come up with these pics. But I had a pretty good idea where I was going with this as we've been writing this thing in our comment sections for months now.

      Thank you Joe

      Delete
  17. Great job Lurker!! You "exposed" sides of the cat I never expected to see. I'm so glad I finally got to see who the Viking Lady is although I could have done without the knowledge that she and the cat have created offspring (how will I recover my senses?).

    The Alliance chose the right man for the job and I can only hope that you haven't defected over to Rayonia!

    Wonderful news about your Hubby, Anne. My thoughts and prayers are still with you both.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I replied to you and as I was doing it some other comments came in. See waaay below.

      Delete
  18. Glad to hear that your Hubby is awake now. I am sure you are a welcome sight to his tired eyes. I lay in a hospital bed for almost 5 days a couple of weeks ago, it gets tiring doing just that. I saw an Irish Pub in Monroe Louisiana called Shenanigan's.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've been meaning to ask you what were you in hospital for Bama? The Alliance owns all the Shenanigan's Pubs worldwide. We're global.

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    2. Pancreatitus. Drinking too much. Had to call it a career on that note.

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    3. Jesus Bama you could have died. Please don't pick up another drink again we like you better alive!

      Delete
  19. I'm extremely happy that the hubs is awake!!!!

    And after Lurk's visit, Serbia has problems with the lack of brandy.

    The cat really should be arrested, locked up and the key should be given to a bunch of horny Viking women! The pics the Alliance has collected really are shocking and prove the ebil cat's crimes!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Cat condemns himself every time he opens his mouth to speak. The pictures just show the depths of his depravity. He has no shame, really he doesn't.

      Delete
    2. Why have shame? That is for you humans that want to remain tame.

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    3. I think it's time to rid you of your prosthetic willy cat. I liked you singing in the higher registers better.

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    4. I have plenty of backup willies of all shapes and sizes though, sometimes the viking woman just can't be moved and the cat has to strap on a crooked one to screw around a corner, the life of a cat is so hard sometimes.

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    5. The last I read, the cat was having to use breakfast sausage to satisfy his Viking woman and not for her breakfast appetite...

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    6. oh, my, this has slowly turned into a porn show :)

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    7. LMAO don't go giving away all my secrets, now I'm going to have to try a cucumber.

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    8. I leave my bay unattended and this is what you kids get up to? Which one of you got into my gin?

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    9. It's all the cat's fault, Anne. He brings out the worst in me =(

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    10. is the cat planning on trying that cucumber on himself?

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    11. The whiskey is what the cat drank, not sure on all the rest. The cucmber is for the viking woman by the way.

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  20. The Cat will do anything for his Viking Woman, he adores her. You should see the rest of the litter, ooooh much worse than this human child. No, I'm not defecting. Staying with one of my own is the best bet.

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    Replies
    1. I'm so glad that you're not defecting, we need you dear Anne!! But look at how he brags and brags and brags - just shameful he is.

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    2. I knew he would, he's a pig in a cat suit is what he is. Rolling around in his own filth and loving every minute of it. We need to consider rounding up his offspring and feeding them to the fishes.

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    3. hahaha they would eat the fishes no matter how big or give them quite the stomach ache. Plus after the elephant they know how to slip out of any animals rear with ease.

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    4. So the elephant really isn't for amusement, it's a boot camp to train them....I see. You really are a tricky one, cat. No worries, our forces grow by the day!

      Delete
  21. Afraid the info you stole in your nix, was planted, do you really think the rebel forces of Rayonia would fall for these dirty tricks and schemes. The blueprint of the Nuclear plant you stole, is infact the blueprint of the largest McDonald's in the Rayonian territories. But they will tell you the ingredients to the special sauce used in a BigMac??
    Glad hubby's feeling better!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just remember Ray that the people nearest to you could be your enemy. Look to the left then to the right, one of them is a spy! I may or may not have planted a "device" in your Command Center. Sleep lightly Ray!!

      Delete
  22. LMAO oh the cat enjoyed that so much, I laughed at work and got some serious WTF looks..hahahaha

    But the cat has no reason to be embarrassed by such things. Lurk only saw what the cat allowed him to see, for this stuff is pure enjoyment to the cat, so why shouldn't I spread it around for all to see?

    Have you ever tried sliding out of an elephants bum? It is sooooo much fun, nice and slippery and when you get a good run on you can slide for a good mile. The cat even defeated his snip snip and had a whole litter with so much woman, more than any human can handle, so another win for me. And the kitty porn is just a delight, plus it teaches the cat a few tricks as well. Not to mention you missed the part about how you and the penguin man spent hours looking through all the kitty porn to find the best one. At least I look at my own species. But now with the hybrid kids I can look at both and all is good, plus who wouldn't want a kid with monkey feet? Could make a killing in the circus.

    You're just jealous of my exploits and the fact the the cat can just shove things up his bum and doesn't need underwear to hide it, overall it's a win for the cat!

    Glad the hubby is doing better too!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jesus Christ cat, you've left me speechless. And that doesn't happen often. Give me an hour and I'll think of a retort for this brilliant bit of shite you've just spun out.

      Delete
    2. LMAO left you speechless? Oh that is one for the record books. The cat will always remember this day!

      Delete
    3. Hmph...well I can vowge for the fact that you willingly rode on a camel. Does that count?! lol

      Delete
    4. @Pat oh yeah you had me gobsmacked. You are extremely good with words Pat and I can honestly say I've never known anyone like you and I mean that in a good way. I'm being nice I know.

      @Jax he rode a camel, oh there's so many hump jokes just waiting to be made!

      Delete
    5. Wow being nice even after I gobsmacked you hahaha. Glad I can make for a fun time at least, as you surely do as well.

      Pfft she is ommitting the part where she rode the camel first..hahaha

      Delete
  23. So happy to read that Hubby is awake.

    Woohoo!

    ReplyDelete
  24. He may be getting out by Monday. He'll go to his moms house and I'll sleep for days and days and days.

    ReplyDelete
  25. First congrats on the good news and wishes.

    This post is frecking brilliant, hilarious and awesome. Looks like Pope directed the perfect images for this post right into your lap. So, freaking awesome. Brilliant Anne.

    Couldnt stop saying ouch ouch ouch to Cat and his family.

    (Having some issues with my system, so there may be delays)

    Couldnt stop laughing awesome, and that is how you give a post :)
    Long live the alliance and Pat you are done. Sorry dude.
    Lurker - I am sorry, you brought this on yourself.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I had fun putting this thing together. As the cat is quite disgusting this was like taking candy from a baby.

      Delete
    2. I couldn't stop laughing at this post,his spawn takes the cake. No, I think kitty porn is top notch. Good and funny read Anne.
      I am all the more amused by cat's replies, he is totally shameless, anyone else would roaming with bag on their face after their exposé of porn ;)

      He has given me a ode in name of roast, so cute.

      Delete
  26. Excellent post! I am giggling like a little girl!! As I now have a town named for me, I am clearly on the side of Franoia with no possibility of defecting!!

    And back to the real world...I am so happy to hear that your husband is awake. My thoughts and love continue to be with you guys!!! xoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He better name a town for you Mel. If he didn't he'd be in really deep doo doo and there wouldn't be a shovel big enough to get him out of it!!

      Thank you!

      Delete
  27. And you're back in rare form with good news and humor. Wonderful wonderful.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I needed to find something to laugh about for a change. This has been one long and dreary month and I'll be glad to see the arse end of it.

      Delete
  28. I guessed that everything was ok by the time I´d reached the bottom of the Post. Excellent news...:-D
    Cheers
    paul
    PS..this is a very addictive webcam:
    http://www.heliganwild.com/webcams

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I went to the site and they've barn owls on there right now. Owls are my favorite birds and there is a nest for a pair of short eared owls just across the way from my home. One of them flew right over me while I was taking the dog out for a whiz last week and the shadow it cast was startling. I'll be bookmarking that site. Thank you Paul.

      Delete
  29. The caught cats' shocked faces are priceless.
    chimp feet could be pretty handy though ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That pic was one of my favorites too. I can see an advantage to having chimp feet. As a drummer I'd be unstoppable.

      Delete
  30. Though I haven't quite managed to read all the threads on this particular tale of 'the Alliance and Arse Licking Cat', I laughed out loud at this one! The kitty porn pics are hysterical! :-D

    I'm glad to hear your husband is awake now. I hope his recovery starts wonderfully from here onwards.

    With best wishes,

    Jason

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We've been doing this thing for months and on three different blog comment sections. It's a fun way to pass the time in between commenting on other peoples blogs.

      Thank you Jason.

      Delete
  31. I'm glad for.. well everyone else's said it anyway!

    Also, extreme giggles at kitty porn. I ahaha'd and everything.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm almost afraid to see how many times that search term leads people to my page from Google.

      Delete
  32. LOL ah loved this post had all my friends laughing at that kitten porn thing!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for having your friends look at it Baur and I'm glad they got a laugh out of it.

      Delete
  33. The repercussions from this little spy trip into Rayonia could blow things wide open. I see Ray is already denying that any vital information was actually stolen, that usually means that he is scrambling in panic because you did get the blue prints to the death sta...nuclear reactor. Very clever trying to disguise it as a giant McDonalds. Of course the masses will continue to act like lemmings and believe anything he spouts off.

    Best wishes for a speedy recovery of the hubby. My brother was going deaf and they decided to do the implants, a couple of years ago, there was a good chance it wouldn't work. He surprised them all and had a very quick recovery. Prayers winging their way to you and the hubby.

    ReplyDelete
  34. The Cat shoots human children out of the arse end of an elephant? I didn't know that? You sure are well-informed!

    P.S. Still keeping those fingers crossed.

    ReplyDelete
  35. The cat don't eat or mow the lawn
    He just watch cat porn all day long
    He also likes to trick young pre-teens
    make them play an elephant's intestines

    That last sentence might sound a bit forced
    But that's all I can say without being reinforced
    It's nice to hear that the Hubby has awakened
    I hope he heals soon, maybe during the weekend

    ReplyDelete
  36. Let Pat do as he wants. He has urges too you know.

    Glad to hear your husband is awake and well. Hope he gets out of there soon.

    ReplyDelete
  37. So many twists and turns , hidden agendas, betrayals... how will it all end.

    Glad to hear your husband is awake...hope everything is good.

    ReplyDelete
  38. I'd love to shoot children out of an elephant's ass. Bring me an elephant pronto. I've got some snotty neighbor children that need to pass through an elephant's colon NOW.

    ReplyDelete
  39. hi Anne,
    Just dropped in to say hi. Hope everything is fine and on track. Convey our wishes to your hubby.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Wait, did I just see a pussies pussy? Ewww!

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  41. hey just swinging through...checking in on you...and hubs...

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  42. You never fail to make me laugh, and you brighten up my day. <3

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  43. "Kitty porn" - Sounds like something a few of the guys at my school could get into. How sad is that, humans suck.

    /following

    ReplyDelete
  44. hey there Anne! I was thinking about you guys and thought I would check in. Hoping all is well!! Much love, mel

    ReplyDelete
  45. rofl randomly stumbled of across this blog and its pretty entertaining !!! looks like ill be coming back :)

    ReplyDelete
  46. I'm still pissing myself at the pic of the kiddy sliding out of the elephant's arse. Where DID you get that photo? And the cat porn - hilarious. Glad to see you retained your humour under the most trying of circumstances and that your hubby's now awake. Well done Annie.

    Cheerz
    Doc

    ReplyDelete
  47. A bit late, but I'm happy to hear that your hubby is awake!

    About the post, it's a very nice story with a fine mix of pictures. I want more!

    Greetings
    Peter
    http://peterscave.blogspot.be/

    ReplyDelete
  48. hey, thought about you today and jumped over to see if there was an update...hope all is well...

    ReplyDelete
  49. The photo of a baby with bottle is cute! Hehe!

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  50. haha very cool, who thought the elephant slide was a good idea??

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  51. Thinking of you today! xoxoxo

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  52. Anne...checking in to see how things are...I hope good!! If you are in need of some levity today, I got Fran to write me a guest post. Promise it will make you smile!!

    Miss you and I wanted to know I was thinking about you!!

    Mel xo

    ReplyDelete
  53. Hey Anne, just wanted to drop by and let you know I've been thinking about you. I'm not clued in to the latest developments with the surgery. I hope everything is going ok.

    Miss seeing you out in the blogosphere! Thoughts and prayers!

    ReplyDelete

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