One of the most common things I hear from my fellow female bloggers is that they'd love to date an Irishman. When I hear this I think to myself "Jesus Christ, are you crazy woman? Don't you know how bloody hard it is to handle one of them?"
In an effort to clarify my point I thought I'd post pictures of my two nephews and tell you why you don't want to date either one of them.
This is me with the youngest of the two. He's handsome isn't he? The biggest problem with this one is that he knows he's good looking and he knows how to talk sweet to a woman when it pleases him to do it. Now you notice how I said "when it pleases him to do it" That's right ladies, he knows when to apply the sweetness and when to hold it back and he does that so you'll run after him for more of the sweet. And when you do this, he knows he's got you hooked and you're doomed. Why his mothers house is almost always clogged with doomed women and all of them saying "I'm over him, really I am" And I want to just scream at them "Well what are you doing here and why have you been talking about him for the last two hours. It was one date, he's forgotten you, now go on home."
And this is the older of the two. He's cute too isn't he? Well he has the dreadful power of ignoring a woman until she can't stand it and throws herself at him. Many an Irishman have this power and once they figure out that they have it, they use it. It's not like being ignored by men of any other country, it's a mysterious power and near to impossible to resist. At almost every family gathering this one will bring a girl to the party and spend the whole time ignoring her. And what does the girl do? Does she get angry and leave like she should. No. The idiot women tag around after him staring up at him as if he's made of gold. Somehow he's able to walk into a pub, completely ignore all the women and go home with his pick of the litter.
The problem with these two is that their mother spoiled them. And no matter how much we Aunties try to shame them, these boys refuse to change. Thank God my son is an adopted American because I couldn't stand to raise one of these. It would be the death of me.
Now I'll be in and out today because as soon as the sun breaches the horizon I'm going out of doors. My lawn is full of crabgrass and I'm pulling the whole damn thing up by hand and replacing it with clover because the damn Japanese Beetles can't live on clover and I hate those beetles.