It started innocently enough. I was sitting in my room listening to my first Led Zeppelin album when I heard the roar come off those drums. And I thought to myself, "One day I'm going to be John Bonham."
I immediately began harassing my gran about buying me a drum kit. So desperate I was to be like John Bonham that I even promised to stop playing truant from school if she'd buy me one. Well, I practiced by myself and learned to play by listening to the unholy trifecta of Bonham, Moon and Baker.
Then it was time to find a bunch of guys who would let a girl be in a band with them.
And that's when the pub-crawling began. I went from pub to pub, drinking beer, playing darts and cussing until I found a couple of guys who were willing to let me hang out with them and play.
Being in a band meant band practice and band practice meant drinking vast quantities of alcohol, cussing and oftentimes passing out drunk on the floor and waking up in a puddle of vomit (hopefully your own).
And when you weren't playing you'd go out to the pub. I had to watch these guys behave like animals. They didn't censor themselves around me, they just treated me like one of the guys. I became accustomed to hearing phrases such as "She's a face on her like a bulldog whose just licked piss off a nettle". "Jaysus, you wouldn't ride her into battle" or "If I'd a bag of bruised willies I wouldn't give her one."
So you see, it's just normal for me to be this way.
And speaking of bawdy, WorkingDan over at Shameful Promotions did a post with me as a character using MSPaint. It appears as if I'm so bawdy that I've earned a place on the Wall of Shame. And if you go read it "No, those boobies are not really mine. Mine are perkier."