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Friday, February 17, 2012

Once Upon A Time Ago...

Yesterday was the anniversary of my first husbands death. I was married once before to a man who was my first love, whom I met when I was 16 years old. We married when I was 19 years of age and no, we did not "have" to get married, we married for love.  His name was Bobby and he was a deep sea welder and he loved his work, it defined him.

Being the good Catholic girl that I was, I gave birth to our son a year later. His name was Christopher. Christopher was born with a single chamber heart and died three days after coming into this world. We were devastated. Less than a month later, while working on an oil rig there was an explosion and Bobby was killed instantly. There were no remains to be shipped home.

Yesterday I Remembered

Gently, I sideways slip
on naked feet
 to dance
through fields of shattered glass.

I stayed for a time
so short
then with bloodied prints
I left the Past
behind.

But I will not end this post on a meloncholy note. Rather, I'll leave it with something that makes me happy. Art.


I painted this using ArtRage, using the full version which I actually paid for. I hate to spend money and the Hubby likes to say "My wife is so frugal she can squeeze a dollar till the eagle screams". But this program was worth it. 



This is a crop out to show detail. This painting took me four days to complete and I had a grand time doing it. She goes with my castle, but I don't have a name for her yet. I'm going to paint a forest for her and some other whimsical characters to live in. 

Painful things do not have to steal the joy from your life. You just have to get up every day and move forward.

Have a fabulous weekend. I'm alive, you're alive so let us celebrate it.



61 comments:

  1. Anne,

    I remember hearing of these stories of your life and I posted on my blog a wee song for ya.

    You know what it means.

    Si as not to upset you I wount post the song again but I will post the link so you can if you want go back and revisit.

    Save a tear !

    http://thelastofthefew-view.blogspot.com/2011/10/gift-for-you.html

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    Replies
    1. I remember the song well. And I listened to it yesterday, as I always do. I have been wondering where in the world you've been. You have a way of just popping in so unexpectedly like Bobby did and it always startles me when you do. It's like walking with ghosts. I hope all is well with you and yours.

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    2. Ladd always keeps hs eye out. He watches over his own ya known.

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  2. I'm extremely sorry to hear. I could joke and say you relate to the Transformers, but this is too sad an occasion. :(

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    Replies
    1. I'm not sad today. A few hours of sad was all I needed, then I finished painting my fairy and had a good day of happy memories.

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  3. Christ woman, you made my heart bleed but good wishes to you and yours always and great art my Irish cailin......

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    Replies
    1. And you made me laugh with your post today Angry. I'll be laughing on and off all day now. Feck, feck, arse, feck, arse....

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  4. " Painful things do not have to steal the joy from your life. ".....a beautiful sentiment. i wish more people could understand this.

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    Replies
    1. It doesn't not forever anyway. Things only destroy you if you let them.

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  5. My God, how sad, so sorry to here that sad story, can't think of anything else to say????

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    Replies
    1. No worries Ray. Just say that you like my painting and help me pick a name for her. I was thinking maybe Francis would be good....

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    2. Francis the fairy sounds perfick to me!!

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    3. That is a good name, but I vote for FrannyRay or Franny Sue Ray.

      Sorry to read about this, Anne. You are by far an away one amazing chickie.

      Glad to know you.

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    4. I'm getting ready to do another fairy. I'm going to call her Raynella! Francis and Raynella, the flower fairies!!!!

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    5. Francis and Raynella. Now that is fantastic.

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    6. The question remains, which one should have the biggest boobies?????

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  6. The art is well done.
    Very good job :-)

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  7. I really love that picture, it took a while but it was worth it. I don't know if I could do a long term project like that. You've been through some bad times but you've come out better than okay really. Well done on not letting life keep you down.

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    Replies
    1. I can't write a long piece like you do. I can't sustain the level of creativity with words that I can with music or with pictures.

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    2. Yeah but my long posts don't take that long. If you're referring to my books or longer stories then sometimes I'm surprised I can do it too. I wouldn't be able to do it with pictures. One of the reasons I'm not a very artistic person in the drawing sense is that I just don't have the patience and, oddly, the ability to see the proverbial bigger picture. I know what I want to create in my head but I can't transfer it to paper the same way I can with writing.

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    3. I'm referring to your books. See, I'm the opposite, I can visualize things pretty well and get a picture to come out. But if I visualize a scene, I can't have it come out verbally the way I see it.

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  8. ohh Anne Im so sad that you told us, dont have idea, ah dear you are so nice and special Im sure God is with you, so hard you lived.
    Anyway Im catholic too but I think like a christian now.
    Love your picture.
    Love your blog yesterday post was amazing I remember the ladies singing and still I laugh!:) huggs

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    Replies
    1. That song just sticks with you doesn't it. The Hubby has it clinking around in his head today too.

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  9. I'm sorry to hear about all of this, Anne. As you say though, we should celebrate the fact that we're still alive. Time is a great healer, unless you have a rash.

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  10. " Celebrate this chance to be, alive and breathing."
    - Maynard James Keenan of Tool

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    Replies
    1. I'm still thinking about that band from the other day. Great lyrics.

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  11. makes me wanna become a Hulk and destroy something around me when I see or hear how bad things happen to good people all the time.
    I'm sending you a huge huge huge hug, Annzie, won't let you out of it for an hour at least!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Dezzilicous. I'd love to introduce you to my neighbor. You can go all Hulk on her, she's mean and I hate her!!

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    2. I can send my cats to poop in her backyard, if you want me to, that's what I do with my mean neighbours, darling.

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  12. Loss is hard, but you're right Anne. How we choose to go is what defines us. I really like the Fairy. Beautiful work.

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    Replies
    1. I like her too. She's the most detailed thing I've done so far, but that program makes it easier. And I magnify up to when I paint!!

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  13. Beautiful artwork as usual Anne. You have such a great outlook on life with all of the tragedy in your life.

    Keep your head up, and drink hard till the party ends my friend.

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    Replies
    1. I've got a bottle of gin on ice at all times and a back-up bottle of tequila if the shit really hits the fan.

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  14. I understand needing "a few hours of sad" to simply grieve and remember. Thank you for sharing this part of you with us. Your painting along with your poem are beautiful, as always - inspirational!

    Francis...as in St.? I love it!

    Have a fabulous weekend!!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, coming from you that means a great deal. And Francis is no saint, he's an Angry man!!

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  15. The trick to taking it all in your stride is to just keep walking and no one walks harder than you, Anne. You're a real warrior! That faerie looks just like you! Perhaps you should call her Aine! Love you. :)

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    1. That's a good name. I might use that.

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  16. I'm adding this for anyone who's reading the comments above. The song "The Last Farewell" was a song Bobby sang to me before he went to sea (deep sea welders get to work on board a ship). It is rendered more poignant after his passing. I'm off to do housework now.

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  17. Your artwork is actually amazing. Love your attention to detail.

    Glad that you aren't letting anything bring you down. But I guess you can't help being a strong character...being a woman...and Irish. :P You're right, though. We are alive, and should appreciate every minute of it.

    GM x

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  18. Wow Anne, I had no idea that you had a husband who you lost and a child as well, that's so horrible, I'm so sorry to hear about that, so damn sorry. The last bit is especially right, I love the artwork too.

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  19. I cannot even begin to imagine all of that happening. Devastating does not begin to describe it. Lovely poem, and the sentiment. :o)

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  20. You are such a strong woman!! Where many of the female population would crumble, you carried forward. I really do admire your stregnth!

    As for the paintings, they are gorgeous! You're very talented and I can't wait to see the forgest for her to live in.

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  21. I can only stand on the sidelines and offer my sympathy. I have never suffered the sorrow of losing a child or a spouse. So many cliches could just be thrown out there, it does make me appreciate what I have now but I didn't have to pay for it the way you have had to.
    Looks like the art program is a winner! Sweet work!

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  22. Whoa! What a tragic past you have. I never expected reading something like this from you. It's good that you remember them as happy memories and not as bad ones, because I'm sure that the both of them wished nothing but to see you happy.

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  23. Wow. That is such a life-blow to be dealt, especially when so young. I've had enough loss and suffering in my life and happiness after it all to appreciate what you mean, though doubt I have faced as much. Yours is the kind of tale that convinces me there is no design to life, no fate or purpose as when some say "this happened because of.. or so that.." I don't think it's the case and I think it fails to honor the strength and heart of people like you who can continue on, find happiness and purpose and be a good person in the face of it all. And being creative sure helps doesn't it? Keep up the art, fun stuff!

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  24. I don't know what to say...my heart goes out to you! I can't imagine how hard that time period must have been for you. The weaker person would've given up long ago. You must be made up of steel!

    I admire your strength to endure. This post made me cry...it don't take much for this softy of a man but really, my heart weeps for you. I want to thank you and curse you both for sharing, because it is such a pleasure to get to know you but also because this post put me in a somber mood. Damn it, Anne! I feckin love ya! You are one tough Irish woman! It's impossible not to genuinely care about you!

    As for the painting...fantastic work! I have been trying to up my painting skills to keep up with you but you keep raising the bar! I can't think of a clever name for her...if I think of one, I'll send it your way!

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  25. You're a strong person. Stronger than I'd expect, and don't take that the wrong way. Wise too! I've still got some learning to do, but thanks for setting an example. Down the road, I won't forget this.

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  26. Wow!! that was a difficult time for you. I am sorry for your losses.
    Your fairy is fabulous.....I love fairies.

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  27. Wow. I am stunded by that hardship you faced so early on in life! But I am very glad you learned to move past it and become the fun lively woman you are! And you're totally right! We are all alive, we should rejoice in that fact! I will have a good weekend! I hope you do to!

    And I like your picture! It has a lot of detail! And oh boy is that lady in it well shaped!

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  28. Wow many people would have crumbled under such circumstances, you are very strong. Going through life with such a wonderful attitude after everything. So right, must keep on living, one way or another. Glad you chose the high road.

    Awesome art as always too. And yeah I was a tad slow today..haha

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  29. young love taken so tragically, and the loss of your son also...yes lets celebrate being alive indeed.

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  30. Wow :( that is devastatingly sad *hugs*

    I love your art piece, if I had any drawing/painting skill whatsoever I'd love to do something like that. Sadly I don't.

    Thanky for following my blog :)

    Tay
    x

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  31. very cool on the pic...i am a sucker for texture and detail so def worth it for me...a hard early part of life there...and esp both back to back like that...sorry..hugs

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  32. sometimes, I heard some life-stories which are... how could I say?? .... terrific! Yours is one of them and I think: what are my "little" problems ?? nothing!
    Life must go on and after a disaster, always a new flower can grown, or ... a fairy!
    Thanks for sharing pieces of life with us, Anne!
    and have a nice sunday !

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  33. wow how sad and what a difficult time of year for you... you're quite an inspiration in your strength and outlook on the world

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  34. as I sway to the incoming seas... I just walked in from watching the burn off flare from an oil platform...dancing in the night....a safe distance from knowing harm, yet I (we) all know it here......a blink away from a headline

    I offer you a warm nod to yesterday and your recognition of those important to you

    nothing can cure yesterday
    except tomorrow

    Peace

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  35. Deep sea welding that's truly a real mans job!

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