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Monday, February 13, 2012

O'Leary To Open Hub In Southern United States?

Speculation has begun that Anne O'Leary, CEO of O'Leary Air is planning to extend the reach of her imaginary airline to include flights from Dublin to the United States.



Jim Bedwetter, a reporter for Inslide Business, spotted Ms. O'Leary in South Carolina in the company of a man known only by the name "Barfly" .  When Jim approached the two, a clearly inebriated O'Leary yelled "I'm on holiday. It's a cultural exchange so feck off!" Barfly kicked Jim in the groin and the two jumped into a pickup truck and drove to an undisclosed location.


From a van parked across the street, undercover agents were able to pick up this conversation from inside the house. "Yehaaww another left turn" O'Leary yelled. "That's right Anne, this is NASCAR, they go 'round in circles till somebody wins. Hopefully somebody will crash before that happens."


"How about some jello shots to go with that rum Anne?"  Barfly yelled. "Fer fucks sake, what are ya waiting for, serve 'em up!"  Ms. O'Leary then downed 5 jello shots and yelled "What's next?"  A clearly drunken Barfly responded with "I'm going to take you shopping, little lady!"



As soon as agents saw the two approach a local gun shop, a 911 was sent out to the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms.  After emerging from the store with what can best be described as "a whole lot of heavy weaponry" agents heard Ms. O'Leary yell "Teach me about American football Barfly!"
"Anne, college football is where it's at. The Tennessee VOLS are my favorite team!" Barfly yelled. "Yer kidding me? How can voles play football, their rodents for Christ's sake?"  Ms. O'Leary shouted. "No ya eejit, I mean VOLS as in V-O-L-S" Barfly screamed. "These guys are hot, look at those tight pants and those broad shoulders. I love this game!" O'Leary yelled.  "Time to grill up some roadkill Anne" said Barfly.


Agents positioned on a grassy knoll observed the two while they ate all manner of critters and consumed massive amounts of alcohol. It appeared as if this was indeed nothing more than a cultural exchange.



"It looks like we finally shook off those peckerheads Barfly"  said a clearly relieved O'Leary. "Yeah we sure took the mickey out of those gobshites, didn't we Anne" Barfly laughed.  "Here's to a long and fruitful, financially lucrative, cash under the table, future between our two countries!" exclaimed O'Leary, then disappeared into her waiting limo.


As her plane was taking off the sound of a drunken "Boy Howdy!" could be heard all along the tarmac.

 

53 comments:

  1. OK, I'm going to start calling "Missle Launcher" to trump shotgun.

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    1. It sounds so much better doesn't it?

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  2. A talented businesswoman Anne, sent you an email about the flag and your figure......

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  3. I just got it and I can't wait to see my figure painted.

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  4. Oh boy. If O'Leary air does have a hub in the south, I know what I'll be flying!

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    1. It'll be cheap and I won't charge you for ice cubes because it's long haul. But you will have to pay to go to the loo!!

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  5. More people need to say "gobshite". I hate to spoil it for you but the broad shoulders of American footballers is caused by layers upon layers of body armour. This is a busy time for your airlines indeed though, here's to many good years of American business. Next is Asia.

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    1. You can provide special flights for despots and dictators to get out of their country in a hurry.

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    2. I'll have to throw that one past my Board of Directors. I'll send Guido out to find the lazy bastards then develop an ad campaign around it. There's gotta be a way for me to make the idea of cheap no frill flights for despots appealing to a broad audience!!

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  6. Still rockin' Anne! Thanks for keeping me laughing...again.. (and making me think I was losing my mind for just a second...)

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    1. A little touch of devju? That's my job!!

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  7. Haha, great stuff! Keep up the good work!

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  8. "That's right Anne, this is NASCAR, they go 'round in circles till somebody wins. Hopefully somebody will crash before that happens." I have to admit this is true about Nascar, I'm not as big a fan of it as I am of Formula One, I won't lie.

    That thing about the Tennessee Voles made me laugh. I actually own several vols shirts and a pen that sings the vols official anthem, I seriously need to dig that bad boy out, great stuff Anne.

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    1. I've never actually seen NASCAR before!! The only thing I know is that they go round and round. It's not like a Grand Prix at all I guess.

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  9. Nothing like the combination of heavy artillery and copious amounts of alcohol. Oh and business decisions. I agree with Mark, you need to expand to China and Brazil, that's where the cash is going.

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    1. I think he's right on that one. The European market is unfortunately dead. There's also India and I like the food, so I think, yeah India for sure.

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  10. what nice Blog and attic you have Anne:) Im following you!

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  11. In the south, there is only one true collegiate giant and the is the Crimson Tide of Alabama. The Vols haven't been relevant in about 6 years. Anyhoo, you better have no baggage fees or you will never make it. xo

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    1. Someone tried to tell that to Mick O'Leary once. Google RyanAir, please because you have no idea how wrong you are or how funny what you just said is.

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  12. You are my hero Anne. Now I can get home from all the other nice places much easier, such as Gary Indiana, Detroit, and East St. Louis.

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    1. There you are!! My partner in crime and illegal firearms! The serial numbers were all filed off of those AK47's weren't they?

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  13. wonder if I'd be hired as a stewardess in O'Leary Air? Hope the owners will be a bit biased :)

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    1. You don't even have to interview Dez. You're hired and are officially head Steward. Now they is shite, I'll be honest about that up-front, but the booze is free and so are the Hepatitis shots. So do we have a deal? Do we?

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    2. is "they is shite" a selfconfession from the owners :PPPPP or you wanted to say "pay is shite" :)
      I'm in if I can smuggle things from across the ocean without being stripped searched (unless I like the custom officer and chose to be strip searched).

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  14. LOL when you partner up you really go all out. Those Americans aren't going to know what hit them, because when it does hit them they'll be dead....haha. And that might be good if those IRS guys come after you for your under the table practices.

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    1. I'm wiley Pat, they'll never catch me. There's a reason for those offshore accounts you know. The only problem is that the dollar is so weak that I lose money on the rate of exchange going home. Now if only I knew somebody in Canada...

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    2. Hmmm well I'm sure for a kickback or two I could help keep those pesky IRS hounds away...LOL

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  15. This was even funnier the second time! I just noticed the detailing on the TV screen with the Voles. Did you crop out a real picture?? Genius!

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    1. Yeah, I cropped them out, sized them down, pasted them into paint and then drew around them. Eventually this will be illegal, but until then, Lord Goggle can stuff it!

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  16. THIS. IS. GENIUS.

    I'm with pat, you really put some pizazz into your drawings. I kinda want to print them out and post them in my room somewhere. <3

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  17. Eating dead critters, drinking beer, and watching football. I don't know how better to spend an afternoon.

    It better not just be SOUTHERN United States you expand to. Bring the airline to Colorado too. But instead of flying into the airport, just fly straight into a good brewery. Nothing quite goes together like flying and drinking, right?

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  18. Lol... this woke me up faster than a double shot espresso. Nothing like reading about the adventures of O'Leary Air on a Monday morning.

    Maybe it's cause I'm a yankee bastard, but Nascar and college football are the only sports I don't like. I'll watch EPL soccer before I watch Tennessee-Alabama.

    While you're expanding your territory in the US, why not open a hub in the NY-NJ area? Your crazy drunken antics would be an improvement over Newark and LaGuardia.

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  19. bwhaha a cultural exchange...lol...varmits, beer and football and gun shops...you must be somewhere near my town...lol

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  20. LOL, very good!! Your certainly getting the hang of this, I'll take a shotgun as well, but I'll have a JD and just frighten it with coke please!! Nice to see Mr Presley making an appearance!!

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  21. as long as you're entertained I suppose.

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  22. "Teach me about american football" and "Budweiser" got me twitching. That's the sign of good writing, reactions! Strong ones here.

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  23. Really Insomniac? Soccer over football? Over TN-BAMA? You are not really a dude like your picture indicates or you are not American. Kidding

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    1. Repeat after me, Yeehaaww. Budweiser!!!

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    2. Lol...I'm gonna get deported, ain't I? That's okay, I think I was meant to be Canadian anyhow. Go Leafs Go, eh?

      p.s. its only *college* football that I avoid like the plague. Pro football is okay.

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    3. Just kidding dude. I know the only reason us southerners like college football so much is because we have no real pro teams here.

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  24. another funny "adventure" !! very nice drawings! I love them!
    I didn't had time to answer at your past posts... but I must say that I love your voice: you have an "amazing grace's one" ! (honesty, I thing that in your interpretation, in my opinion, the music (guitar and battery) are too pregnant...)

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  25. I think all businesses should be ran by drunk Irish women! The world would be a better place! And football watching drunk Irish woman at that! You just went from cool to super cool!

    Next stop, super awesomely cool!

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  26. Jello shots are the corner stone of any good cultural exchange...and there are never enough 'fecks' in the world

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  27. Who needs to talk about art, music, sculpture, or philosophies for a cultural exchange?
    Beer will do just fine.

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  28. I know who my next flight will be with :)

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  29. Jim Bedwetter. LOL.
    And aren't ships named SSS sth? Confused.
    PS: I tagged you. http://karanbattu.blogspot.com/2012/02/mums-birthday-and-tuesday-14th.html

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  30. Great work! I really enjoy reading these.

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  31. I don't drink but if you have some good old fashioned pub food, I'm in.

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  32. I've learnt so much about america by reading this post! Great cartoon/pics as usual! I love all the little details you add in each one!

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  33. Hahah. I can't believe that your idea for shopping is to go to the weapon store to buy some missile launchers. I mean, people who use grenade launchers and rocket launchers must look like noobs when compared to you.

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