Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Clash Of The Titans

This is the face of a woman who loves wargames.


I say this because fer fucks just look at me, I'm a girl. Does this look like the face of a blood-thirsty warrior to you? Well it is.  Currently, my favorite period of history is WWII and specifically the Pacific Theatre. There are two reasons for this. One is that I'm living in the States right now and the only person who will really spend time with me is a WWII vet who was amongst the men who stormed those beaches.  The other reason is that this gent and I have something in common. I lived in the Philippines for a few years, outside of Clark Air Base, with Mount Pinatubo sitting in my backyard (before it erupted). And so I'm familiar with Luzon Island and fond of the people. Now you might ask "Anne, what were you doing in the PI?" And I would say "I'm not going to tell ya. Let's save that story for another day."

Today we're here to look at how things are going in the 2nd Annual Analogue Hobbies Winter Painting Challenge. More specifically we're here to look at how things are shaping up point-wise between two rival gamers Ray and Angry. (aka Fran). Currently Ray, a married man, is ahead of Angry, a man with a girlfriend. As a married man, Ray has an unfair advantage. He can tell his wife to bugger off and she won't mind and he's already got automatic responses to questions like "Do I look fat in this?" installed in his brain. So he spends more time painting and less time in the dog house than his rival.  Angry on the other hand has a girlfriend and you can't tell a girlfriend to bugger off, they just won't tolerate it. Why Angry may not even have mastered phrases like "You look great for a woman your age" or "No, you look skinny in those pants", which may put him into hot water, reducing the amount of time he has to paint.

As a fan of their rivalry, I felt compelled to make a comic about it, And here it is.















Personally I think Angry should get a couple hundred handicap points for having a girlfriend, but Ray disagrees. So let's put this thing to the vote. What do you think? Should Angry get handicap points, and if so, how many? (Now this vote won't  make a feckin' bit of difference, but play along, humour me). And remember, I may be a girl, but I'm a blood-thirsty one and I carry a gun. (it's legal here!).








98 comments:

  1. HAHA! I love it. Apparently I missed that you have started doing comics now! I fully approve!

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    1. Where have you been? I haven't seen you in about 4 months.

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  2. I have to vote no, he shouldn't get a handicap. If anything, Ray should get the handicap: if Angry can have a poster of Pamela Anderson on his wall, and his girlfriend is non-pulsed, then clearly his explanation & evasion is sophisticated enough to handle the requirements of a painting challenge.

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    1. I'm voting that he get's the points. Remember I'm blood-thirsty and I have a gun...

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    2. Too Bloody right Laughing Ferret!! I darn't oput a pic up of Pamela Anderson, for fear of losing what is most valuable to man!! And it wouldn't be Pamela A, it would be Zooey Dechanel anyway!

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  3. Great post Anne and I agree totally, sorry to hear about your husbands extra problem, contact me by email any time....left it on my blog....

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  4. Angry definitely has handicap points. As a married man Ray also has no sex drive now anyway, and his wife probably doesn't either. Angry on the other hand knows he has to take it when he can get it. Unless Angry can somehow master sex and painting at the same time (that could get messy) he really doesn't have much of a chance here. Even if he could do without sex for the gaming, I doubt his girlfriend would go along with it.

    I believe I have seriously over-thought this.

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    1. I can't wait till Ray reads this Mark. I've been married for 22 years, so I'm keeping my mouth shut, just in case Hubby reads these comments. And= Irishman could never go without sex for that long, he'd go crazy and what I didn't say in the cartoon was that when our men get started they tend to go for at least 3 hours. It takes a lot to wear them out.

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    2. Let's just say that I never knew I took the vow of chastity...........

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    3. There you are Ray. Yahooo!! I was wondering when you'd show up.

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  5. Angry should definitely get extra points for this, it's just no fair haha! I don't think it's too big a factor though so maybe such a big handicap is unfair.

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    1. Well I'm still going to push for points for Angry. Christ, before I married Hubby, he had to actually spend time with me. Now he can do whatever he wants. If he hadn't rolled over in his sleep one night, I probably would never have had a child.

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  6. He should get some extra points, gfs can be demanding I hurt, but they should be taken away as soon as he marries!

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    1. I have no idea what these two are going to make of the comments. When are you going to post again? I've got you up on my blogroll!

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  7. It is all too confusing for me. I think I might have missed something sometime.....

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  8. I introduced the topic on my Monday blog, but if you don't follow these two it could be confusing. Don't worry about it, I understand!

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  9. Girlfriend definitely constitutes extra points, because he's still gotta keep her. Once married, men can get away with being ridiculous a little more than when single. At least, that's how it goes for my husband...

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    1. Ditto that. I used to make Hubby work for my love, now I'm just too tired.

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  10. oh, you is so perdy, Annezilla, you should post your own pics in every post :) me precious....

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    Replies
    1. Thank you dahlink. And I just might start going by the name Annezilla, I love it.

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    2. thou hast been christened by Dezzy :) You know, I'm quite famous for coming up with nicknames for tones of people, both bloggers and celebs :) 'tis my divine gift LOL

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    3. I love mine Dez. You're a doll and I love you xxx

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  11. You love wargames? You mean that movie with Matthew Broderick and Ally Sheedy? Yeah, I liked that one, too. ;^)

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  12. The cartoons made me laugh so hard that I forgot what I was supposed to be voting for. So, I'll just vote Angry because of the cute little teddy bear.

    There's something to be said about uninformed voters. (dun dun dun)

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    Replies
    1. Uninformed voters are every politicians wet dream, I think.

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  13. Handicap points???? Deff not!!!! If it's not an even match, maybe he should forfeit the war!

    And LOL @ the teddy bear. Loved that addition :)

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    1. I love the teddy bear too. I think it suits him!

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    2. It does, doesn't it Ray. It's cuddly and sweet just like Fran!

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  14. Well firsty I don't want to get shot by a blood thirsty imaginary airport owner, so that's one in Angry's favor. Secondly, he has to waste all te time pleasing his girlfriend, so yeah that's two. Thirdly he might have to squat down in a dog house and paint, so all in all he should get a 300 point handicap.

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    Replies
    1. I was hoping the threat of firepower would sway some people.

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  15. I don't think The Angry Lurker should get bonus points. If you can't control your woman they thats your problem! not anyone elses!

    Love the cartoon! Very funny! and if thats what there respective women look like I'm surprized they ever paint models!

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    1. His girlfriends Irish. We can't be controlled. It's a constant battle of wills and no one ever really wins. All of our arguments end in a good shag. And that can last for hours and hours.

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  16. I know fuck all about wargaming but shagging sounds a far better prospect.

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    1. I think so to. I say shag while you can!

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  17. Rofl. Great. About the handicap points... Hmmmm... Angry has a girlfriend, I think, then he can marry (of course only for the challenge ;-) )! If he don't marry I wonder, for how many challenges you want to give him handicap points? Maybe he never will marry only to get the handicap points :-).
    Regards
    Lonewolf

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    1. Anytime Angry is losing, I'll find some excuse to give him handicap points.

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    2. No fair your supposed to be imparshall!!

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    3. I am impartial Ray, if Angry starts beating you, I'll do a cartoon about how he's cheating by making you work at work instead of paint!

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    4. But that's not gonna happen, fingers crossed!!

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    5. There you are again!! I'm really enjoying you two. It's like watching the Odd Couple on the telly. I'm not sure which one of you is Felix and which one is Oscar though.

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  18. hair looks stunning Miss. Also, my grandpa was a gunner's mate on a Navy Destroyer in the Pacific during WWII. Probably what got me so hooked on history from a young age, learning about this stuff in books in knowing my grandpa was apart of it seemed so cool.

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    Replies
    1. Those US soldiers were great men. Some of the survivors are having a reunion this year and I've been invited to attend. I'm taking my camera with me and if they'll sign releases will tell some of their stories on me blog.

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  19. Well, after reading the blog and all the comments, boy, I just don't know. Both those guys are great. But it sounds like you're in favor of Lurker getting the points and it is your game.

    Good luck to Ray. He's gonna need it. Poor guy.

    PS: Great touch with the Pam poster.

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    1. I love 'em both too. Ray's is winning the contest, Angry needs support through his time of need. Now if Angry starts winning, I'll do a comic about how he's cheating just to beat Ray.

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    2. Looks like I'm losing the vote :0( Thing is I've got 4 kids all girls and the mrs to keep happy, how the hell I find time to paint, I don't know.
      Fran's got himself and the Mrs to keep happy, she may well be a girlfriend, but he's lived with her for the past 10 years so he might as well be married anyway!!

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    3. 10 years! Bloody hell, I didn't know that. Isn't he married by common-law now? I wonder if he's going to read any of this Ray? And Ray, when you see him at work tomorrow tell him that when a lady tells you her age the proper response is "You look great for your age" not !!!!!

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  20. You look as tough as a Norwegian Berserker. D:

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    1. Thank you. That's the best compliment I've had in years!

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  21. I liked the Pacific Theater, too. Except for those damn Japanese soldiers who kept screaming "Bonzai!" every time something important to the plot happens. Plus, their stupid samurai swords kept sticking out in the aisle.
    Bloody wankers.

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    Replies
    1. Now I get the joke Al. I'm an eejit (that's idiot in american). You changed the spelling of Theatre to Theater as in cinema.

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  22. I need to check this out being an ex-wargamer. I still like to paint; although I haven't been able to do it in a while (stuff is still packed from our move last year, too). What game are we talking about here? Or is there more than one?
    I have miniature shots on FB.

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    Replies
    1. It's the 2nd Annual Analogue Winter Painting Challenge. Here's the link for the info on Rays page http://onelover-ray.blogspot.com/2011/12/2nd-annual-analogue-hobbies-winter.html

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  23. Replies
    1. Somehow I'm not surprised that's what you noticed Baur. Nice AMD you've got posted today!

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  24. Ah the enduring Blogging Bromance of Ray and Fran...it's always entertaining.... surely Ray gets a list of chores from his wife to cancel out the girlfriend handicap?

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    1. I do get the list you speak of, quite often. It is then usually filed in the bin. Then I cook my own dinner!

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  25. I'm going with no points either way. The needs of a girlfriend are different from the needs of the wife but they both end up taking the same amount of time. I'm figuring Ray is just a faster painter.

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    1. See Ray, despite my implied threat of violence, some people are on your side. I noticed you've slipped to 3rd place by the way. And Angry is now up to 6th place. I love watching the two of you banter with each other!

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  26. Well, it seems that Fran has a life. He better get 'life' points, or I'll rant. Hell's going down if I rant.

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  27. I hope to read about why you were in the PI. It's a cliffhanger for sure.

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    1. That it is. I have pictures to go with the story, some of which aren't very pretty. One day, when I'm in the right mood I'll tell that story.

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  28. I'd give Angry a 2 point handicap. It's not a huge difference, but there's SOMETHING.

    However, if given the position to hand those handicap points out, I wouldn't. If you want to win, you can learn to abstain.

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  29. Irishman can't abstain. It's physically impossible. If we weren't so busy shagging, we'd conquer the world!

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  30. HAHA another entertaining sequence :D great job yet again!

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  31. There shouldn't be a handicap whatsoever. Even if Angry won in the end it'll only be because of the handicap and he wouldn't feel his victory.

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  32. I wonder, have you watched "The Pacific" TV series?

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  33. Where can I find this magical land, where the women always want to be shagged without us having to ask first, known as "Ireland?" And how can I find one of these magic women?

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  34. Lol, I agree angry should get a few hundred handicap points!

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  35. No handicap points. From my experience, it takes a lot m ore to keep a wife happy than it does to keep a girlfriend happy. Besides, girlfriends are usually still trying to keep the boyfriend happy while wives don't give a damn and know that if she ain't happy, ain't nobody else happy. And even if Rob read this I know he'd say "Yes, dear." He also says he's happily married. Not that I give a damn. I'm happy. That's all that matters.

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  36. I vote for O pt of handicap!!! (don't shoot me please!)
    Because if he has a girlfriend, he must assume his choice!! I don't think too that having a girlfriend and/or a wife is an handicap...
    Having 2 children is an handicap, too???
    So, I should have 2000 points of handicap!!
    Too funny this challenge, Anne! thank you!

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    1. Ray has 4 children. He would love that! He'd get 4000 points.

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    2. ... except if they work for him!!!

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  37. Replies
    1. I really love your avi. Very cool indeed.

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  38. You remind me of the actor that plays Luna Lovegood quite a bit actually.

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  39. At first, I thought you were talking about the movie Clash of the Titans. Then I was hoping it was the original one with Harry Hamlin and not the terrible remake they just made. As I read I was disappointed to see it had nothing to do with the movie. Then I saw the signature Anne comic strip and was happy again. As usual, your post is a roller coaster ride of emotions for me. Well played, Anne...well played.

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  40. WW2 is pretty fascinating. Look at all the video games that they made about it!

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  41. a) You're so beautiful, my friend.
    b) I'm jealous of the fact that I can't make a comic strip because I suck at that sort of thing
    AND
    c) I, too vote for the handicap!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much and thank you for the shout-out on twitter.

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  42. Another great post Anne. Oo love the pic too. you are a cutie-pie :)

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    1. Thank you Jerzey. I'm enjoying that new series your writing. I just can't picture you being a hooligan!

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  43. I say Angry should get the handicap points. As a married man, I am well aware of the differences of how a man can handle their woman. There just isn't telling a woman to bug off when she is your girlfriend. But when you are married, she is quite happy to oblige to your request.

    Angry is at an unfair disadvantage...somebody throw than man a bone!

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  44. I changed my e mail, so it might appear as if my blog is missing. Follow the 'bunny' on the left to find it.

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  45. You look different! I wouldn't have known it was you. I'm glad you told me.

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    1. It's not the same without you, Anne! :)

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  46. I thoroughly enjoyed that story. :) I'm rooting for Angry, but only because he is apparently Irish.

    I had you pegged as a warrior from the first time I read your blog. Great minds and whatnot.... :) Currently I'm deep into the history of the American Civil War.

    It pains me that wars aren't really fought like they used to be, you know with swords and horses and riding into battle with Verdi playing in the background (I may have made that last up). When the apocalypse comes, you and I shall have to bring it back into style.

    The second Amendment is my favourite.

    xoxo!

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