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Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Win A Free Laptop Computer

No you can't win a free laptop computer here.  Now here's some other things that just aren't true.




No it doesn't. If you've got a small dick, you're stuck with it, just don't stick me with it.



Well that's a load of malarkey.  That's like saying, "Anything more than a mouthful is just a waste." Are we talking about dicks here?



"I've always wanted an Obama Chia Pet."  You lying bastard. Nobody wants that.  Not even Michelle wants that.



"Oh that's such a cute baby you have there."  Not it's not. It's a feckin' monster is what it is.



JFK is dead.  Wait a minute, I think that ones true. Has anybody seen my gin?




"That outfit looks great on you."  Bloody hell, what kind of drugs are you on?



You can screw an O'Leary and get away with it. No you can't. Up yours Aer Lingus.



No he won't. Jesus Christ, he's James Bond, he's never gonna call you. 

Now aren't ya glad ya clicked on this page? You didn't win a computer, but you learned something. And that's worth more than a feckin' laptop. 




66 comments:

  1. Great stuff and some of us don't need that enlargement shite....well maybe Ray (we shared a room on a stag night once!)

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  2. I know you don't need it Angry, your Irish. Poor Ray, he's got a wee willy and you're going to beat him at the painting contest. Go Ireland!

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    Replies
    1. Bloody hell, I've pulled you through a worm hole and in this reality Ray won the painting challenge. You're on vacation and I'm still talking your leg off. The marvels of science!!!

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  3. hahaha never had any complaints in that department. But did you know for some of those pills they actuallly use rat shit for the ingredients. No joke! Imagine people thinking their wee willy will increase when really they are eating rat crap. Oh and JFK is not dead, he's with Elvis and the aliens.

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    Replies
    1. How do you like time travel Cat?

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    2. You had me thinking WTF, I new I seen this before. Tricky today, you made me time travel with a delorean, that takes talent.

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    3. I'm a magical creature and can do many things of which you know not. Time travel is the least of them!!

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    4. Can you go ahead and time and come back telling me the lottery numbers please!!!! It's 30 million this week, I'll get your alliance 20 million of it, that sound fair?

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  4. awwwwww. Mister Bean baby.... awwwww.... not that I would ever accept babysitting it, by it sure is a cute baby. Wonder how his mother and father look like :)

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    Replies
    1. I hear his mother is a troll and his father is an orc and he's a sterile hybrid.

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  5. and how does Pat the Cat know they are using rat shit in those pills if he never used them? He seems like one of those who love reading the ingredients when they are using something :)

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    Replies
    1. It's because the Cat licks his own arse darling. His palette is so sensitive to the taste of shit, he can identify at least 23 known species while blindfolded.

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    2. Pat knows because his law professor told him a while back and she was just the hippy dippy type to know too.

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    3. The Irish/Serbian Gossip Alliance strikes again!!

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  6. I just need someone to put my junk in their mouth until the swelling goes down!

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  7. Ahaha, look at Aer Lingus, actually thinking they can pull a fast one on the infamous O'Leary airlines, let them try! Some of these photos are horrendous, like that baby and the girl with that shirt on, just ugh! Good stuff as always Anne.

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    Replies
    1. There's something about you that looks different Matthew. I just can't quite put my finger on it.

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  8. if theres one thing ive learnd about dick size...

    size doesnt always matter, but theres a thing called "to small" and a thing called "to big" that should be avoided xD

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    Replies
    1. It's not the size of the wave, but the motion of the ocean....

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  9. Dez, I know because I had a hippy law professor in University who went on about her husbands "problems" in class. Said she actually called one of those "increase size" things and they gave her big jargon for the ingredients. She looked them up and poof rat shit..haha

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    Replies
    1. Cat, you're lying. You lick your own arse, admit it.

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  10. Are you taking Aer Fungus home? If you are, at least the food is better than Continental, the stewardesses are generally friendly, you don't have to pay for the loo, and if you happen to have an anxiety attack, the stewardesses will go up and down the plane asking all the other passengers for sedatives until they have enough to knock you out. (I still send a Christmas card to lovely young doctor who gave me valium.)

    luv you!!

    xoxo

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    Replies
    1. Coincidentally I posted this last time I was going home and I didn't go Aer Lingus. I never fly Aer Lingus, they're my mortal enemies.

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  11. Small genitalia is the way of the future. It will weasel it's way into popular culture through the hip hop music first.

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    Replies
    1. Small dicks will never be in fashion. Never.

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  12. When ever anyone says "laptop computer" I think of an antropomorphic computer with sexy legs and a smile on her screen/face who does a sexy dance and then sits on my lap and flirts with me! So yeah hearing "laptop computer" always gets me exited!

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  13. VERY entertaing, love the barack chia pet!

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    Replies
    1. Just don't vote for him in November!!

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  14. Why can't Continental purchase Aer Lingus and mashup the names to Con-Lingus. Too risque?

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    Replies
    1. Because RyanAir is buying Aer Lingus and we'll call it O'Leary Air when it does.

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  15. Replies
    1. Do you like them better the first time or the second time Baur?

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  16. Know what I find naturally increases my penis size? Small vaginas. In a small one, I could SWEAR I'm a few inches bigger than with the last one, with the tall chick. It really is stunning. Problem is when I'm out and drinking I can't just ASK about their vagina size. It makes things awkward apparently. I get slapped too. I don't get it.

    I haven't left a comment this bad anywhere in a long time. Feels fresh.

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    Replies
    1. Does this seem at all familiar to you D4? Do you remember leaving this comment? Or do you have a doppelganger?

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  17. @AK Does it work? If it does you could make a fortune writing about it. Wait a minute, I get it, I just killed a bottle of gin and I'm pretty messed up right now. And you can get a spit shine while you're at it. It's a two-fer :)

    @Matthew Aer Lingus will either be bankrupt or owned by an O'Leary by this time next year. Remember I called it here on this day.

    @Iloveweed, are we talking about doobies or dicks. Am I stoned. Pass me that bowl Guido.

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  18. @Pat, I'm going to leave you 2 to duke this thing out hahaha

    @Mich, no I'm not flying Aer Lingus. One look at the name on my ticket and they'd wrestle me to the ground and have me arrested. Mick is getting ready to sue them right now. They shouldn't have effed him over on that Hanger 6 deal, I'm just sayin'

    @TheInternet, weasle being the operative word here.

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  19. @Bersercules, Laptop computer, laptop computer, laptop comuputer. Is that doin' it for ya big guy. I'm coming over to your page to say it three times, just to mess with you.

    @DoomGeneration, I just got back from your blog. You've got a good thing going over there.

    @ABFTS they can't because it's going to be owned or bankrupt by an O'Leary. Feck 'em.

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  20. @Baur thank you

    @D4 well I'm glad you decided to do it here. That was a good one. I actually owe you for that, it was so good. "Excuse me miss, but do you have a small vagina" It's so romantic.

    @InterwebsFails I know, but what are you gonna do?

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  21. I lol'd soooo hard. I agree with The Internets. HIp hop music. Keep blogging.

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    Replies
    1. It's amazing, but I have kept blogging and blogging and blogging. It's almost time for me to go home again. There's a sense of deja vu to this whole post. It's like I've been here before.

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  22. Hahaha, James Bond might call them, just off-camera.

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    Replies
    1. James is still waiting for me to call him. Poor guy, I'll never call.

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  23. @C.beatz Thank you, I will. I'm on my way over to your blog now. Don't be afraid, I'm nice when I'm drunk.

    @TheRaveSite.com I'm not sure about that, I did him once and I'm still waiting for the phone to ring. Wait, my phone is ringing, that could be him. I'll be at your blog in a minute.

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  24. @Anne Are you trying to exite me to death?!

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  25. @Bersercules, excite you, of course, but not to death. I'm saving that for tomorrows (todays) post. Feckin' time difference.

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  26. @Anne It is tomorrow today! Its dec 20th 2011 but look at the time under my post! The future!

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    Replies
    1. Look at the date on this comment Bersercules!! I've pulled you into the future! Did it hurt?

      Delete
  27. Aer Lingus? Every female passenger leaves satisfied.
    RAT SHIT? No wonder I bought all the Cracker Barrel sharp cheddar.

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    Replies
    1. How you doing in the A-Z challenge Al?

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  28. Why you ask? Because I can.

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  29. LOL!!!! What are you trying to say about my outfit, hmm??? And do they REALLY make Obama Chia Pets? Sigh...On a side note, there are mannequins in chinese stores that are barack obama. They were talking about it at work a few weeks back. How awful is that?!

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    Replies
    1. Oh that is wacky. It would be scary to see that in the States. But it would be funny to dress him up. I'd dress him in silk stockings, high heels and a teddy.

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  30. well i guess i can stop taking those herbal suplements now...esp since the second is not true....ha...and i may need to change my shirt...

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  31. It's amazing how many search engines have brought people to this blog when they google in male enhancement. Clearly I'm in the wrong line of work.

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  32. It does so work, when she puts it in her mouth, it swells and it stays there until the swelling goes down. It's all natural.

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    Replies
    1. That's so true, why didn't I think of that? Did you change your avi again Bama?

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  33. JFK isn't dead, he's alive and well, just in hiding...with Walt Disney. They're planning their comeback this december to coincide with the Mayan Calendar's end of days. They figure it's their best shot for total global domination. I kind of hope they succeed.

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    1. Elvis and Jim Morrison are going to be on tour with them as well. Michael Jackson is closing the show with Walt and a busload of little boys. It'll be grand!

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  34. That is one scary lookin' baby. Yikes.

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  35. Nice baby.. there is a reason they have the expression 'a face only a mother could love". never heard of Air Lingus before... what is their motto? "Where the mile high club is not only permitted but forplay is encouraged" ? You might have some business competition in the skies...

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    Replies
    1. Aer Lingus slogan is "You'll always be late and who needs luggage?" I'm looking to acquire them as we speak.

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  36. Loved this post so bloody funny and so bloody true at the same time oh and HI my name is Jo-Anne and I came over from visiting with a Mock Turtle why because I don't have a real turtle that's why and the mock on is so much funnier don't you agree...............lol

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