"Is this feckin' thing even turned on?" yelled O'Leary into the working microphone. "Oh it is" she yelled at the stunned faces of the people in the front row who had their hands over their ears while they screamed in pain. "Then turn the feckin' thing down will ya. I can't hear myself think with all this screaming going on" she yelled again.
Slamming an open bottle of gin down on the podium O'Leary said "Okay ya feckless bastards. My imaginary airline provides quality service at a low price and I'm tired of hearing you gobshites complain about it." Taking a long drink of gin, she continued "Some of you seem to have a problem with me charging you to go to the loo. Well dammit, a flight on my airline from New York to London only costs you $9.99. That's value for money I'm tellin ya."
At this point in the proceedings O'Leary fell over. "Guido, help me up" O'Leary yelled from her position on the floor. With the support of her Chief Advisor Guido, O'Leary staggered over to the projector at the side of the stage. "Now because you've all pissed me off. I'm unveiling the new face of O'Leary Air. I'm lowering my rates to $5.99 but you'll have to pay for some extras. Roll tape Guido."
"All in all I think yer gettin' a fair deal here." O'Leary yelled. "And if ya complain about this, I'll just charge ya to breathe the air in the cabin and charge ya for each sheet of toilet paper you use in the loo, so feck off."
After which O'Leary passed out drunk. Carried from the room by her Chief Advisor Guido, O'Leary could be heard to mumble "Shit, feck, arse."