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Wednesday, December 7, 2011

It Was a Bloodless Coup WARNING: Cute kitten on post

Most of you are used to Boobies, violence and offensive language on my blog, so I wanted to warn you in advance what to expect today.  Many of you were emotionally scarred last time I broke protocol and posted semi-nude men and we don't want that happening again now do we?  So I'm telling you now, before you go any farther and risk having your friends call you gay, that there are actual pictures of a cute kitten on this page.



Some of you may remember when I introduced me bulmastiff Toki a couple of months ago. She had been put out on the street very young and I had to feed her from a bottle for the first week. She was a scrawny little thing who loved to sit on my shoulder and help me with my blog. And she was a sweet too, purring all the time, giving me nose bumps and acting like I was the center of her universe.


All that affection was part of a master plan. That's right, she took away my free-will. Before I knew it, I was doting on her.



It was a bloodles coup I'm tellin' ya. She used the power of cuteness to control me. Now I find myself standing at the grocers for twenty minutes wondering which flavor of cat food she'd like best; Super 
Supper, Ocean Fillet, Tuna, Fishermans Delight or Beef Pate.  Christ, all this for an animal who licks her own arse.



The little bugger even sits on my bass and I let her. Jesus Christ, I'd slap my own husband if he dared touch the thing. But not me little shoulder-monkey, "Oh aren't you just a darlin' " I say. "You look so cute sitting there. How would you like to climb the curtains?  I won't get mad, I promise."

And she looks at me as if to say "Dance puppet dance."  She's not going to get any bigger the vet says and she doesn't have much hearing. But that hasn't slowed down her plans for world domination. If you see her coming your way, run, run for your life.

Now I'm going to add this: You may feel the overwhelming temptation to make pussy jokes in the comments. And you can, if that's what you really want to do. But if you do, I'm going to reply to your comment with a dick joke. Who knows, it could be entertaining.

All photographs have my signature embedded and are source located to my camera. Copy, crop, paste and you'll wake up with cat shit in yer bed.










29 comments:

  1. I heard Pussy and whipped...bring it on Anne!

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  2. Well Angry I heard that you're dick is so big that when you get hard, half your body goes numb.

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  3. I can see your appeal to the cat, she looks absolutely adorable. It's cool how much you care for it, although it did make me laugh pretty hard when you said about how you go through all this effort to buy her awesome food when she's a pet who licks her own arse! Great post as usual Anne.

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  4. There's only one comment I could really make for this;


    D'AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

    My cat has only ever sat on my shoulder once, but they both know how cute they are and how much they can get away with.

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  5. Very cute cat. We let them get away with so much don't we? I have to buy 15 different kinds, no joke, of cat food because the little ass licker won't eat the same food two days in a row..hahaha

    He sits on my shoulder like he owns me, lies on my butt and everything inbetween, yep he jumped on that too..haha. My other is just prissy and thinks she owns all. Quite the pair, yet we always bent to their will.

    Oh and I'd rather be thought gay then see all those half naked men again, kitties beat them any time..haha

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  6. You will often hear Rob or myself say to one or the other dog, "You can't bully me with your puppy cuteness."

    This is, of course, usually said about two seconds before we bend over to rub a belly or really get into an ear scruffing moment.

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  7. Cute cat! For all your complaining be thankful you only have one! My girlfriend has six cats. She spends so much money on them for food each month its like we have a kid!

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  8. cats: controlling humans with their hypnotic cuteness powers since... forever

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  9. @Matthew, I'm glad I could make you laugh.

    @Mark,thanks for stopping by. It was lovely to hear from you. Best Wishes

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  10. @Pat I know Pat pussies on my page are better than half-naked men. Never fear, I've a great pair of tits picked out for Father Christmas. You'll love 'em.

    @Satia the things we'll do for our animals. I think they're worth it though.

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  11. @Bersercules, six cats? Jesus you're one hell of a good boyfriend.I hope she appreciates you. Cats are small, but expensive to feed and as picky as they are you can't really buy in bulk.

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  12. Okay boys, Angry was the only one with big enough bollocks to take the bait and make a pussy joke. I've got a lot of dick jokes I haven't gotten to use and I'd really like to. So bring on the pussy jokes would ya?

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  13. Cats are our masters. There's no escaping their many demands.

    I can do an entire month's worth of grocery shopping in 15 minutes or less. But it takes me at least 10 or 15 minutes to get the cat food.

    xoxo

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  14. The only Problem I have with cats is, it is my belief that if they were bigger than you and got hungry one day they would eat you.

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  15. I was hoping that when I began following the blog of a cute lady, she'd eventually have a blog with pussy pictures.

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  16. I had to laugh at the "climb the curtains, I won't get mad, I promise". Like, not just the smirk. Stop doing that! I'll seem crazy laughing at the computer.. Ahah!

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  17. @Mich I made the mistake of buying her a generic brand of treats. Sbe sniffed it once and then tried to cover it up like she does shit in the litter box.

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  18. @InterwebFails I heard your dick was so big it takes four fat women and a team of Clydsdales to jack you off.

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  19. @Jerzy I think you're right. When Toki gets hungry she looks at me with red glowing eyes and licks her lips.

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  20. @Adam I heard your dick was so big that King Kong is going to crawl up it in the next remake.

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  21. @D4 I'm glad I made you laugh. Now wipe that smirk off your face and drink a bottle of gin, you'll be laughing at the computer all night long, just like I do.

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  22. The power of cuteness COMPELS YOU, the power the cuteness COMPELS YOU!

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  23. Cats are evil creatures....but I love em.

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  24. @R.gers She is my master, I am her slave.

    @Otter Their soul-eaters, I tell ya.

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  25. I can never have a pussy in my house, as I have four terriers.

    And a wife...

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  26. @Anon Thank you, I'll give ya some free advice.Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool and if you think she's funky, cover your monkey

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  27. Toki is absolutely adorable! I love her. Topaz said that she wants Toki to be her honorary little sister :-).

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  28. @Michelle Toli says prrrrr to that sister!

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