Thursday, December 29, 2011

Controversial CEO Of O'Leary Air Calls An Emergency Press Conference

Early this morning word leaked out that Anne O'Leary, the rearely sober CEO of O'Leary Air, had read a book. The book was so good in fact that Ms. O'Leary described it as being :"brutal" and called an emergency meeting of the Press.

Holding a half empty bottle of gin in her hand, Ms. O'Leary was led to the stage by her Chief Advisor Guido.  She had this to say "Over Christmas I read a book and that book was so brutal, I didn't stop drinking until I finished it. I didn't sleep either, the damn thing kept me up nights. It's got monsters and shit in it. Why this book is so brutal it's feckin' metal I tell ya. Roll tape Guido."




My journey with this book, The Missing Link, began on Christmas Eve. That night, after Hubby and the kids had gone to bed, I began to get a bad feeling. Something wasn't right. It was as if an eye were watching me.  "Dammit, there must be something I'm supposed to do, but haven't done yet. Something I promised to do......"  Well, I opened a bottle of scotch and drank until the feeling went away.  Then went to bed.


I fell right to sleep right away, but was assaulted by the most horrific dream.


My village was being invaded by a feckin' book. And that book was written by Americans. Nobody from Ireland had a damn think to do with that book and here it was on our shores, threatening out children.  I knew I had to act fast. I had to read that book.

I told my Hubby to feck off, I wouldn't be joining him for Christmas as I had a book to read. So I locked myself in my office, opened up the laptap and went to my Kindle books app.  I opened the file that said The Missing Link began to read. Five pages in and that book grabbed me by the throat and wouldn't let go.  "The feckin' internet is dead. And it looks like the world has lost it's mind. Some woman just drove through a window because her GPS gave her wrong directions. Haha. Damn I hope that cop Mickey shoots her. Stupid bitch." 


And it looked like the death of the internet was caused by goblins. "Haha, there's Brent, the IT guy running after a feckin' goblin. Jesus Christ, there's a goblin running loose and none of these people seem to notice it, except Brent. The rest of them are too busy worrying about their mobile's and laptops to see it. Bloody hell what's the matter with these people. Are they all Americans?"


"Haha, Chicago is burning. Well at least this time it wasn't my family's fault.  The people have taken to the street and begun looting, wrecking their cars and crying "I've got no bars, Iv'e got no bars" Eejits, serves .'em right."  I opened a bottle of wine and continued reading.  "Bloody hell, the boys have written a band of homeless people into this story. Oooh and I like that Wingnut Sally. She's crazy, but she's smart.  And there's even a monk in the crew and dammit they've put a Brit in there. Well he's homeless so I guess that's okay."


Reading is thirsty work, so I opened a bottle of tequila and had a bite to eat. "I wonder what happened to Molly, Brent's girlfriend.  Last time I saw her, she fell head first into a hamper and found herself on the road to Rankinspire with those two feckless bastards Twiddledee and Twiddledum."  That's a strange world I'm tellin' ya. Full of trolls that play with themselves and hobbitts that ask to see yer tits and there's some hippy dudes that are stoned out of their minds wandering around with clipboards taking surveys.  After polishing off the turkey and the tequila, I opened a bottle of gin and started reading again.


I could see that Molly had found the Red Queen. But where was the Cheshire Pimp at?  I love that dude, he's so much more metal than that feckin' Cheshire Cat in Alice in Wonderland. And he's got a taste for the ladies.  "Oh fer fuck sakes," I yelled. "He's gone and pissed off Queenie and she's gonna take his head off."  This story seemed familiar to me. There's something about a queen with a guillotine that makes a Catholic flinch. 

Well I finished the rest of that book in one straight read. It was so good I couldn't put it down.  Although I was terribly drunk, I felt innervated, alive in some way, I thought to myself "Now's the time to do something so irrational that you'll regret it later." Yes folks, it was tattoo time.



I decided to get the girls tattoed. When I told Hubby I was going to get me tits done, I don't think this is what he had in mind.  Although he has come to favor Brandon a bit over the last few days.

I'm sure you've all noticed, and can't wait to tell me, that I spelled Bryans name wrong in the video. Sorry Brian, I mean Bryan, I told you I was drunk

Now I'm going to tell you straight up, everything I said about the storyline in this comic is true. That's what's in the book and it's a damn good read too. You may notice that the cartoon panels are a little "busy". I've placed items that represent characters or events from the story in each panel for Brent and Brandon to find. I hope they can do it. Anyone whose read the book can do it too.

Right now, the book is free. You can get it from Amazon and download it to your Kindle, your PC, your laptop or your mobile device.  The Kindle reader ap is free from Amazon as well. 

The boys aren't interested in making money with this book. They want what each and every one of us here on Blogger wants when we push that publish button every day. They want to be read.

Thank you
Anne O'Leary.
  








 



43 comments:

  1. Exellent post as usual! I love their blog at A Beer for the Shower! I definitly wanna check out this book! Love your video and cartoons! Why don't you add more cartoons! There very fun! And--..... (drool)... So um, showing um, your... um... wow... (more drool)...... ... ... I'm sorry! I couldn't help but stare! There quite a beautiful pair! Forget posting more cartoon pictures post more pictures like the last one! Wow!

    And when ever I push the publish button I want a hamberger to pop out of my computer so I can eat it.

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  2. I'm glad you didn't spoil the ending as I am half way through it. It is great, even found myself telling people about this cool book about the end of the internet (of course the fact that my stupid work computer was dead when I got there this morning made a great opening). Love your pics as well. The boys might have some competition in the comic department

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  3. You weren't kidding...you really put my post to shame! I think the tits alone could win it for you!

    My MSpaint skills are no match for yours! You and your feckin Irish accent deserve to win! You kicked my arse!

    Great job!

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  4. @Bersercules put your tongue back in your mouth and clean up that mess you just made. Just kidding. I've never used MSPaint before. Haven't drawn a thing since school days. I'm going to start incorporating some of this into my blogs. It was fun.

    @Mynx, no to get to the end, you have to read the book. Besides to draw that many panels, would kill me. I don't want to compete with those boys. I just want them to come to my feckin' blog and tell me I've won. Christ, I'd be easy for them to write a toon about.

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  5. Oooooh books!!
    I love reading your blog so much and this post is SO COLORFUL. It made my day.

    I've always wondered about boob tatooing. Does it hurt?

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  6. @Workingdan Thank you. I really, really, really want to win. I hope they like it. Even though I spelled Brians, I mean Bryans name wrong.

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  7. @PunkChopsticks I don't know. I don't have any tattoes. Those boobs aren't mine, I drew them using MSPaint. Thanks you

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  8. you know, Anne, this art of yours should find its place in Metropolitan Museum or in Russian Hermitage! Not that me would ever buy it or accept it if you would decide to present it to moi ;))) but you know the world is filled with art lovers with the taste for something divine and clearly sublime as this is ... :)

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  9. Wow, my friend, you've really outdone yourself. This is amazing. Also, while you did fuck up Brian and Bryan a lot--that I can understand--in the third to last paragraph you actually said Brent and Brandon. Still trying to decide if that's intentional or not. And yes, Brent is definitely my character. I used to work in IT, so I saw a lot of people like him, but he's most definitely not like me. Mainly, in that I can get off the Internet and get laid every once in a while. I'm married, so I definitely do mean "once in a while," but it HAS been known to happen.

    So, here goes, the things I noticed:
    1. The pictures on the wall. Love it. That Metalocalypse poster is so metal.
    2. The bedsheets. I think your Guiness bedsheet takes my He-Man one.
    3. Meebles the fat lazy cat.
    4. I see a rabbit in Wonderland, but his head's actually not been cut off by McAffery yet. This must have been taken shortly before he passed by.
    5. I don't think this was intentional but I actually do all of my comics on a crappy little Toshiba laptop.
    6. That Internet monster is creepy as fuck. Or perhaps more creepy is Steve Jobs looking over Brent. Brent's not a mac guy, but I won't hold that against you. Also, if that's our political system being thrown in the recycle bin, good call. It's been shit for some time now.
    7. I think that minotaur is sneaking up on the Cheshire Pimp. Let your pimp hand be strong, my brothah, and take no shit!
    8. Wingnut Sally looks crazier than ever, and possibly in need of pants. But who doesn't love a crazy chick with her pants off?
    9. My McAffery subscription ran out a long time ago too. Piece of shit software.
    10. Obvious troll IS obvious.
    11. Who the hell IS the executioner? I think it's number 3. Definitely number 3.
    12. Those fat, egg shaped, twiddling young men look even fatter than I imagined.
    13. The queen's heart shaped lipstick.
    The yellow daisies. They're all yellow! This must have been taken shortly before they started puking violently.

    If I missed anything, do remember that I've been drinking as well.

    Also, you may misspell my name, but at least you tattoo'd my name right. That has to count for something.

    Thanks again. You are so fucking metal.

    -Brent/Brian/Bryan/Captain Fuckin' Incredible

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  10. Just post your tits next time and we can spend hours reading them. Thank you. Much Love. XO

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  11. @Dez The Russian Hermitage, definately the Russian Hermitige. Although Playboy did call and expressed interest in my tits.

    @Brent/Brian/Brandon/Brendon/shit I'm drunk. I haven't slept for 48 hours doing this thing. I made some mistakes, so what? What about it? huh? You missed a bunch of them. I'll list some of them (I'll get the rest after I've feckin' well slept)

    1. The clock. The goblin and other characters are concerned about the time.
    2. Sally Wingnuts green notebook.
    3.The recycling poster for Reverend Jim
    4. The shiva for Monk.
    5. The statue for Monk
    6. Mickey Mouse for Mickey
    7. Frisch's for the statue Wingnut Sally took off the building in the beginning.
    8. The dog for Seamus
    9. The baseball, ballbat and ball shoes for Shoeless Joe
    10 The butterflies for all the things in the world that people don't notice.

    I left the pants of Wingnut Sally on purpose. Just for shits and giggles. And I use a Toshiba laptop, so that's mine in the picture.
    Thanks for stopping by guys or whoever you are.

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  12. @AK I think I'll do that tomorrow. I've spent myself on this one and I'm about dead.

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  13. "I told my Hubby to feck off, I wouldn't be joining him for Christmas as I had a book to read." This line killed me so much Anne, giving up Christmas to save your city from a book, I love it haha!

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  14. Hahahahaha! I love the A Beer for the Shower boys. And I really legitimately liked their book too. Well done!

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  15. I fail as a man, but thanks for pointing those out! Really, this was all brilliantly done, and you can call me whatever you want. Just don't call me Shirley.

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  16. Loved it Anne. Keep it up you have lots of talent. :)

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  17. I'm not sure you drank enough Anne, I think the post could have been a bit longer with more detail (kidding it was great).

    How come when I draw my schlong with MS Paint it's always crooked?

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  18. This looks great, I too should take an extra swig of green tea (that's the most alcoholic drink I can get my hands on right now) and read this while I can.

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  19. hahaha now that was awesome. Damn when you do a fecking review you really do a fecking review...haha And you even got the girls tattooed. Other than that twitching eye syndrome the cat told you about a while back, that right there will secure you the win. AWESOME. Very well done!

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  20. The moment I heard Kashmir, I knew this would be a hell of a post. Got me laughing by "Bloody hell what's the matter with these people. Are they all Americans?". And I DO already have the book, I've been meaning to read it but.. well it's not the best time. But I will. I've read the first two chapters and I KNOW it's gonna be good. Your push helps though, so thanks!

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  21. Niiice, I love ABFTS. The boob tattoo is definitely my favorite...especially the comment about the hubs favoring one of them over the other.

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  22. This will replace Twas the Night before Christmas as the go to story read on Christmas Eve...at least in my house. Well played, Anne...well played.

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  23. @Anne Glad to hear there will be more drawings on your blog soon! They're very cool!

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  24. Wow what a story! Happy new years to you!

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  25. @Bersercules I'm not posting anything on Friday. I'm going to spend the next 3 days learning how to use MSPaint, so I can do more drawings. I'll be in to read your post though if you publish.

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  26. Oh and btw, I've tagged you on my blog so now you've got to answer eleven questions about yourself for 2011!! Muahahahaha

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  27. Cant wait to see more of these drawings, keep it up! :D followed

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  28. Sounds like a damn good read, I'll get the Mrs to download it to her Kindle. Surely this this post must have taken you longer to put together than it did to read the book!!!!!

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  29. @PunkChopsticks What have you gotten me into!!!! I'll go to your page and find out.

    @Ray It was a great book. By the time they've got you into the world that Molly falls into you can't stop. Every other page you're going "Oh my God, I can't believe this."

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  30. @PunkChopsticks I just came back from your page. You brat! I was gonna take some time off, enjoy New Years ya know. But now I've gotta work. I'll have my answers to the questions on my Monday blog. I love you Punk, really I do.

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  31. ahahahahha MSPaint nightmares, somehow fitting
    love your written "accent" too
    following you for more awesome drawings!

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  32. @Vulcan Thanks. You should hear me speak, you wouldn't understand a feckin' word I'm saying. I've a Cork accent. Even other Irish look at me and say "What?"

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  33. baha, what an excellent story about a story. And some mad MS Paint skills.

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  34. ahh hell yeah, mspaint boobs!! :)

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  35. Pointless info: at the time of reading this post, I was drinking a Bushmills and listening to the mighty Zep! (Kashmir is my fav!)

    I love this, Anne! I laughed myself silly! Bloody brilliant! :)

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  36. That's going to win the 'Missing Link' competition, I'll say that.

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  37. How have I not found your blog before?

    Awesome :)

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  38. Wow, binge drinking never sounded so good

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  39. Just had to come back and check out your animated rack again...

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  40. congrats on winning 'the prize' for THE MISSING LINK...

    great post... very deserving...

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  41. Can't wait to see what happens to the blogger world once everyone here starts reading your book recommendation. Will all blogs flick the switch of sanity? (Not that yours was all that sane to begin with, eh?)

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