This would be The Spawn I'm referring to, my own lovely daughter. Now don't let those blue eyes fool you. The Spawn can turn a man to stone with a look at 50 paces and she shoots flames out her nostrils when pissed off. She's expert at throwing things across the room at a velocity that can create a sonic boom. Now these traits are normal for most Irish women. They evolved over a millenium to enable us can handl the Irish male.
For the five or six braindead zombies out there who don't know it, the Irish economy is in the shitter. My first warning of The Spawns increasing distress over the fate of her country came about when we elected our new President, Michael Higgins.
To hear Higgins speak is a wonderful thing indeed. He's a poet and a former broadcaster and listening to him speak of his hopes for our country can set your heart to singing. While the rest of us were filled with hope and happiness, The Spawn responded like this "Now mum, I know the words are lovely and they're exactly what we need to hear right now, but they're just words. Hope won't fix our problems." The Spawn is what I call a "political junky". If a politician takes a piss in an alley, my daughter knows about it.
As I said earlier my first warnings of The Spawns distress came about a little late in the game. Unbeknownst to me and my husband, The Spawn had begun her serious worrying months ago. And she had already begun to develop a scheme. Her plan was to increase tourism and bring new graduates with their own cash into the country to partner with young Irish and begin their own businesses.
The Spawn plans on packin' 'em in by the trainload. You girls back home remember D* and his mum B* who visited last year? Well, they're coming back and bringing the rest of their family with them. The Spawns scheme goes something like this. Rent a home in Galway for a month, then visit Limerick and then spend time in Dublin. That way the money gets spread around and the people get to see enough of Ireland to want to come back every year. And who's going to be driving these people across the country? Not me. It will be up to you girls to pull this thing off together.
Now the way The Spawn has it figured, if she stops now she'll be bringin in €48,000.00 in new tourist dollars next year. Does The Spawn intend to stop there? No. Her goal is €100,000.00 by the end of 2012. Are my husband and I going to put the breaks on this thing? We won't stop her unless she frets herself into a mess.
And the other thing you girls back home have been hearing about is true. She wants to open a business of her own with her brother and some of you. The question that remains is this "Will we, her parents, bankroll this endeavor?" The answer to that question is this "We're thinking about it. But not until 2013." So keep your noses clean and stay in school girls or the answer is NO.
Will The Spawn succeed in her goals? Will my husband and I survive her scheme? The answer to the first is "Perhaps" the answer to the second question is "Not bloody likely."
All original photographs have my signature embedded and are source traced directly to my camera. Copy, crop, paste and I'll have The Spawn turn you to stone.