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Monday, October 24, 2011

Winnie Wants a Vibrator

When non-Irish people encounter an Irishman for the first time, it tends ta scare 'em a bit.  Despite the fact that we occupy a small island and that times are almost always bad for us, we act like we're superior. In fact we pity the non-Irish people of the world simply because they're not one of us. 

One of the things that non-Irish people are not prepared for is how feckin' loud we are nor are they prepared for just how much we really cuss.  In my home, cussin' was the natural order of things. Bloody hell, feckin' shit, Jesus Christ, Christ Almighy, up yer arse, fer fucks sake and Holy Mary Mother of God what are ya doin' runnin' with those scissors ya eejit, wait till yer father gets home.  And all of this said at a volume so loud that the teacups in Scotland rattle in their cupboards. 

So today, I've got some videos to give you a look into the secret world of the Irish.

The first video is from a program called Mrs. Browns Boys.  My mum was born in 1931 and Mammy comes fairly close to what I grew up with.



The next video is of one of our comedians Tommy Tiernan.  This is an example of what you might get if you invite one of us over for dinner. 





And yes, we're that loud and we're that animated.  You would think that the look of shock on the faces of non-Irish people when we're being ouselves would tell us "Feck, I better tone it down, I'm scarin' these bastards with my Irishness."  It doesn't.  We assume that you're confused so we get louder. 

And now you understand why my yank/American neighbors tend to go the other way when they see me comin' down the street towards them.

By this time next year, I should be home amongst my own kind, where they can all treat me badly because after a year away I'm somehow less Irish than they are.



22 comments:

  1. Mrs Browns Boys is one of the funniest things ever, everybody wants to be Irish or have a bit of Irish in them (sometimes literally).

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  2. I know, I love the show. And you're right on both counts Angry.

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  3. I love Mrs Brown's Boys so much, it's an absolutely excellent show. I feel kind of bad for Hein though what they must have said must have been pretty offensive. Being Northern Irish do I even have a right to be offended? I don't mind at all if we were to reunite again and cheer the Irish on in the rugby so maybe I do, even just a little bit?

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  4. lol'd hard, dind't know the show

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  5. Ah Yeamie, it saddens me to hear you say you think you have no right to be offended as an Irishman. We're both the same people, you and me. I'd love to see us reunited and God willing, by peaseful means may we be so one day again.

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  6. Thanks Orag3. It's a wonderfully funny show and reminds me so much of my younger years with my mum and me trying to be all modern and grown up. Seems like yesterday it does.

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  7. I'm only 1/4 Irish, but that's better than none at all, am I right? I hope to visit the Emerald Isle one day when I can afford a vacation. Until then, I guess I'll just have to make do with my few Irish friends stateside, and envying their swagger and cool brogues:)

    Cheers,

    brandon

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  8. I love how we can swear a whole lot without ever really using swear words... I do try very hard to be ladylike and quiet and non-swearing, but 'tis very difficult.

    I love Tommy Tiernan! :D And I wish we had Mrs Brown over here. >:(

    In answer to your question about the knees--I don't know if I actually explained it previously on the blog. I exercise way too much (OCD, can't stop...) and my knees are starting to get upset about it.

    For you:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FrujV0PG_7k

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  9. The one time I met an Irish person.. she's quiet, shy, and doesn't curse at all. Here I was thinking I was the awkward one, geeze.

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  10. Me tinks me mum might hav a bit in er, she used every last one of those phrase's on me and my brother....Reading this makes me miss my childhood...haha..thanks Anne :)

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  11. Winnie Cooper? Joke I hope atleast on person gets :)

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  12. I got your joke, Cary :-). Anne, I think Irish people and black people are variations on the same theme. The words spoken may be different, but the actions and intent are the same.

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  13. The BBC started showing Mrs Brown's boys months ago, me and the Mrs caught an episode by mistake, I've not laughed so much in ages, its a great show. And how right was the Tommy Tiernan???????? All women are mental, not including you Anne of course!!!

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  14. Thanks Brandon, It's less expensive than you think. You can rent a cottage for 350.00 a week just about anywhere. And it's so pretty and there' plenty of beeer.

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  15. Mich, I love Tiernan, he's got this new bit on Irish Sat Nav that is hysterical. I have trouble toning it down, I think it's because of when I was born and how my family operates. And thanks, now I understand the knee problems.

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  16. D4, we're not all this extreme some of this is just comedy about how far we can go. That said, my family tends to be a lot like this

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  17. My mum was this way too Kris. The show reminds me so much of her.

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  18. Cary, Winnie wants a vibrator is the title of the Mrs. Brown episode. If look at the vid, the title is right there. And if you watch the vid it's all about Winnie and a vibrator :)

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  19. Yes Michelle, I think it's because we've both had to, overcome so much just to get what little we have. And we have to fight so hard to keep what little we've got. Our moms tend to be forceful and strong to prepare us for the world.

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  20. Ha ha Ray my husband loves this bit. For some reason he can identify with it :)

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  21. nice post. Very good read. i want winnie.lol:p

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  22. Thank you, IB. Winnie's quite a hotty isn't she? :)

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